Author: John Herr

Now that’s going too far. After weeks of chaos and shootings in Minneapolis, a U.S. Marshal in Memphis finally did the unthinkable: he kicked a toy schnauzer while making an arrest, breaking its ribs and earning a lifetime ban from the Puppy Bowl. This begs (pun) the question: how do canines deal with the dog days? When their only bone is busted, what do they do to cope? That’s where we humans come in. It’s time to give man’s best friend a good old-fashioned country song. Music hath charms. And who better to sing a sad song than the “good…

The infighting on the MAGA right has not stopped; to the contrary, it’s only gotten more heated. Tucker Carlson especially has attracted fire for his uncompromising stance on Israel and Jewish “neo-conservatives.” (He doesn’t like them.) But Tucker shows no signs of backing down! In fact, one look at his upcoming podcast docket will tell you all you need to know. 10. The Misunderstood Gourmet: Jeffrey Dahmer’s Good Eats 9. Solving Overpopulation: Heroic Pol Pot 8. Our Friend in Moscow: Joseph “Teddy Bear” Stalin 7. He Never Met Those Women: Defending Jack the Ripper 6. Just Doing Her Job: The War…

It’s summertime, which means more bombings over Iran, duh, but also visits to American amusement parks! The beating heart of the kiddie industrial-entertainment complex is of course Disney, which has been sticking its pirate hook into our wallets and purses for over a century. Of course, Disney has to update their parks from time to time — I mean, the “WEDWAY People-Mover” is just an airport moving walkway, been there, done that. So it’s time to hit the WaltBack Machine and take a look at the old attractions and rides that Disney had to eliminate over the years.

We copied and pasted this directly from Truth Social since so many of our readers check here for their news instead of there. TheRealDonaldJTrump The FAKE NEWS LIBERAL LEGACY MEDIA will tell you our SUMMIT in THE GULF OF PALIN USA was not a success. They are JEALOUS that we were able to get VLADIMIR PUTIN to spend a day on a DEADLIEST CATCH BOAT where we caged UKRAINIANS with the crabs and dunked them in the FRIGID OCEAN! FOR THEIR OWN GOOD!!! (Talk about ICE! SHOUT OUT KRISTI KREME NOEM!) Putin and I came to an AGREEMENT that the…

Face it, the old model of soap opera just won’t do. Who cares if Donna has gone back to her pimp? Or that Linc refuses to be blackmailed into paying for his daughter’s abortion? (Yes, I watched “All My Children,” why do you ask?) Here are a few new network TV soap operas that are a perfect fit for today’s messed up world. “The Passive and the Aggressive” “As the Tariffs Turn” “Social Medea” by Tyler Perry “The Old and the Photoshopped” “Incel Island” “They All My Children? Really?” “Search for Two Passports” “DNA Test of Destiny” “No More Beds…

Nepo Babies. Where would Hollywood be without them? And where would you be if you had refused to hire your nose-ringed, ear-gauged nephew to assist in accounts payable? It’s not fair that someone’s genes (or jeans) give them such an advantage. Fortunately, the world lately has taught us to count our blessings and be thankful it’s not worse. Things That Are Worse Than Nepo Babies * Necro babies * Home Depot babies * Repo’ed babies * Pepto Bismol babies * Aleppo babies (so much war and unrest) * Leper babies * Rat Scabies (drummer for The Damned) * Nepo baby mamas * Zeppo’s nepo babies…

We all mourn the passing of Pope Francis. Okay, that’s enough. Now it’s time to gamble. According to Vatican oddsmakers, these are the least likely names to be chosen by the new Pope. * Innocent 100 to 1 * Not Guilty 200 to 1 * Marty 400 to 1 * Brad 500 to 1 * Demerius / DeVonte (tied) 1,000 to 1 * Volvo 2,000 to 1 * Billy Bob 5,000 to 1 * Muhammad 50,000 to 1 * The Cardinal Formerly Known as Prince 100,000 to 1 * John Paul George Ringo 200,000 to 1 * Madison 500,000 to 1 *…

Trump’s new DEI elimination policy brings with it a series of historical revisions we will now be accepting and treating as fact. 10. Frederick Douglass was just Mary Todd Lincoln’s hair stylist 9. The Tuskegee Airmen was a 1940s R&B group that had a huge hit titled “War For Your Heart” 8. Brown vs. Board of Education never happened because brown is not a federally recognized color 7. Black History Month is now recognized only in Leap Year Februarys 6. AC/DC’s “Back in Black” has been renamed “Trump Back In White House” 5. You’re no longer allowed to have a…

12. The Daily Male (sponsored by Joe Rogan) 11. Hagiography Today 10. “MagaMegaMacho@gmail.com” (he owns a printer) 9. Izvestia 8. Kid Rock 7. “HunkyHornyHusband69@truthsocial.com” 6. The January 6th Jailbird Choir newsletter (weekly) 5. Proud Boys On The Bus 4. David Duke Daily 3. False Flag Free Press 2. The End Times 1. The Washington Bezost

“Flirted with a man sitting next to me on the tube yesterday. Finally he woke up.” “The price of Metamucil is out of control.” “Remember those physical features I was self-conscious about? Wish I had them back.” “I don’t remember having to rest my elbows on the sink while washing the dishes before.” “Another long hair. Just gonna tuck it into my bra.” “A man at work objectified me today. I sent him a thank-you email.” “Why do I own a shoebox full of old receipts?” “Ian was right, I do like the smell of a hardware store.” “Just learned…