Author: Cole Frye

Sorry for screaming again. I tried using my oven for the first time, and a million roaches came pouring out. I didn’t even get to cook my frozen pizza, and my date hid in the bathroom. I spent my last cash on that pizza and a 2-liter. Now I don’t have any cash for roach spray now. Do you have any roach spray? Do you think I could borrow your oven? I could maybe spare a little soda if you want it. I’m also sorry if you heard my date screaming. She hates roaches, too. She was almost chill, but…

Famine, War, and Death, the three horsemen of the apocalypse, would rather be working. Instead, they sit around and wait, just like they’ve been doing for hundreds of years. They’re also trying to backfill the position of the Fourth Horseman. Then, once a few seals get broken, they can do what they were created to do: Fuck. Shit. Up. There used to be four horsemen, but Conquest was relieved of all duties about 80 years ago. His dismissal was officially reported as a budgetary reduction in force, but everyone knows that’s just a cover-up. All the waiting around finally made old…