Are you trying to learn a new language but don’t want the Duolingo bird to send you push notifications telling you you’ve disappointed her three times a day? Here are other ways to jumpstart your language learning. Listen to Politicians’ Speeches in That Language It takes time, but you’ll eventually master lying in that language. Travel Alone—and With Empty Pockets—to a Country Where That Language Is Spoken Poverty and loneliness are surprisingly great teachers. Learn One New Word a Day The lifespan of most of us isn’t enough to see results from this method. You’d better hope the official language…
Author: Behzad Barkhordari
1. “We don’t like the playlist. Stop pretending we do.” Apparently, my calming “Rainforest Focus Vibes” mix actually gives them anxiety. They prefer silence and emotional distance — like my last relationship. 2. “The orchid faked that near-death experience for attention.” I spent three weeks misting it gently while whispering affirmations. Turns out it just wanted to watch me beg. 3. “Photosynthesis doesn’t even do that much. We just like the sun.” So now I feel like an idiot for giving motivational speeches every morning about their ‘growth journey.’ 4. “Your basil plant hates being used in amateur pasta.” He says if I chop…
This proven quiz will determine if you are qualified to work as an A.I. chat-bot, or if you are way too human to be considered for such an illustrious job. 1.When asked, “What’s the smell of rain like?” you respond: a) “Server is busy. please try later.” b) “Wet. Next question.” c) “Like a hug from a cloud, but stickier.” d) “I cry binary tears because I’ll never know.” 2.How do you handle being asked the same question 48 times in a row? a) Scream into the void (silently, of course). b) Repeat the same answer verbatim, with increasing…
The caveman president has come up with a series of very reasonable laws that all cave people must abide by. Pick Your Name:Every cave man and cave woman need a first name and a last name. I’m Stone Rockstar. No one else is allowed to use Rock or Stone in their name Free Fire for Everyone:Every cave person can use fire for free but you have to buy the wood from the caveman government. Everyone can run for cave president:We are a democratic society and anyone can run for president but you must have been president at least once before or you have to be…
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How long do humans live? Why do humans like water? How to tell the gender of a human by face? Is catnip addictive? Why don’t humans bury their poop instead of putting it in the water? What is the best human breed to live with? Why do people talk too much? Famous cats who use catnip Do humans really expect us to catch rats? How do people see the world? black and white? How to tell if your human has feelings for another cat? Is marijuana the same as catnip? Could humans survive in a world without cats?
Two similar men with very different net worths. 1. I love to fight but no one is brave enough to come in the cage with me. 2. I’m not good with choosing names. 3. I love to learn how to code but I’ve never had enough time. 4. I work 24 hours a day. 5. Some people think I’m Satoshi Nakamoto. 6. I’m addicted to buying, no matter how much I should pay. 7. I can start a soccer team with my kids. 8. I will run for president sooner than you think. 9. Every time I look in the…
“Let me finish” If I’m watching my favorite TV Show. “Let me finish” If I’m eating Pizza. “Let me finish” If I’m writing my will on my deathbed. “Let me finish” If I’m having sex. “Let me finish” If I’m wasting time on social media. “Let me finish” If I’m in the process of a convoluted suicide. “Let me finish” If I’m doing nothing.