Now that’s going too far. After weeks of chaos and shootings in Minneapolis, a U.S. Marshal in Memphis finally did the unthinkable: he kicked a toy schnauzer while making an arrest, breaking its ribs and earning a lifetime ban from the Puppy Bowl.
This begs (pun) the question: how do canines deal with the dog days? When their only bone is busted, what do they do to cope?
That’s where we humans come in. It’s time to give man’s best friend a good old-fashioned country song. Music hath charms. And who better to sing a sad song than the “good boy” who cries out in agony when his owner leaves the house?
Country Song Titles for Dogs:
“Don’t Start the Car Unless You Mean It”
“Bitch, Get My Beer!”
“I Chewed Your Shoe, Now Whatchu Gonna Do?”
“Sun’s Out, Tongue’s Out”
“Toenails on Stainless Steel (The Veterinarian’s Blues)”
“When She Rattles the Leash, My Love is Released”
“Cock Her Spaniel”
“Six Nipples and No One to Suck ‘Em”
“Friends in Low Kennels”
“Rich Hounds North of Richmond”
“Red Solo Bowl”
“Whose Butt Did You Sniff Tonight?”
“Riding Shotgun With Kristi Noem”