Last weekend, I went to beautiful and terrifying Daytona Beach, Florida for arguably the biggest NASCAR race weekend of the year. My trip was exciting, shocking, and informative. Here’s a breakdown of all the important life lessons I learned!
When Kyle Busch has already won the pole position for Sunday’s 500, he has no reason to try to win the Duel on Thursday night
This is obvious and every race fan knows it. In fact, it would be really stupid for a budding race fan from out of town to bet money on him to win the duel. It would be really stupid. It would be stupid to do that. Going forward we all know that’s a stupid thing to do.
The NASCAR superstore right next to my dad’s house has a lot of Kyle Busch merch, but the hats all say “Cheddar’s” on the front
They aren’t exactly the most wearable hats in the world. Chase Elliott (America’s driver) has multiple hats that simply have a “9” on them. That’s his car number and it makes for a really sick and simple hat!
Kyle Busch’s merch truck outside the track has plenty of hats with an “8” on the front
I spent $42 dollars baby!
At least one other race attendee hates Kyle Busch
I know this because as I was paying he walked up to the counter and yelled “I fucking hate Kyle Busch!” to the cashier.
Daniel Suarez, SVG, and Conner Zillisch are the best racers in NASCAR
I’ve learned that race performance can be deceiving, and if you looks closer, some of the best racers don’t always win races. For example, these three don’t, but all three were really nice to me at a meet and greet once, so they’re clearly the best in this league. SVG is so tall! Every racer is like 5’4 and then he’s like, just guessing, 7’2.
Alex Bowman wrecked Sunday, which isn’t great considering he’s going into this race year under a ton of pressure to prove he’s not the worst driver on the Hendrick’s team
It would really suck if you were a budding NASCAR fan and decided you wanted to pick a second driver to cheer and picked him based on him having the cheapest hoodie you could find.
If you wear an Alex Bowman hoodie to a bar, a drunk guy in the bathroom will grab you, read your hoodie, then say he’s not sure about Alex Bowman because he thinks he might be gay
Then, he’ll look around the crowded bathroom and angrily yell “not that there’s anything wrong with that!” All signs point towards him thinking there’s something wrong with that.
My wife hates Tyler Reddick
I’m guessing on this one. She’s been very cold and distant towards me since I left last Thursday and went to the 500 without her on Valentine’s weekend. I’ve just assumed she must just be really upset Reddick won. I can’t think of anything else that would be upsetting her. I didn’t even know she followed racing!
Tiger Woods’ mini-golf course is hard as hell
It’s called “Pop Stroke” which is wild because I usually do those in the opposite order.
I’m apparently an airport security risk
Seconds after getting off my extremely delayed flight home at almost 2:00 A.M., I realized I left my airpods in my seat pouch and tried to walk back down the jet bride. The person working the gate then proceeded to rush up and physically grab me, while screaming “security risk” over and over at literally her loudest possible volume. So yeah, I’m kind of the bad boy of Southwest Airlines.