You know how magazines used to get kickass Frazetta art and post seven page short stories called like “Eye of the Crystal Wizard” or whatever? You don’t know what I’m talking about?
Magazines used to devote space to stuff like this:
I thought it would be cool to make a joke version of that kind of thing for our website, since we’re kind of like a magazine (almost extinct) and I’m kind of like Robert E. Howard (obsessed with buff men), except not debatably racist.