Whether you’re planning or planning to attend a super bowl party today, these ins and outs are guaranteed to make you the hit of the function or ruin the whole day.
IN: BUFFALO WINGS
OUT: KIDS
IN: LETTING THE DOG DRINK A LITTLE BEER
OUT: WATCHING THE GAME
IN: HAVING THE PLAYER’S NAMES WRITTEN ON YOUR HAND
OUT: WHEN YOU GO TO THE COMMUNAL SNACK TABLE TO GET SOME DORITOS COOL RANCH AND KEVIN SNEAKS UP BEHIND YOU AND GETS ONTO HIS HANDS AND KNEES SO THAT FRED CAN COME UP AND PRETEND HE’S ALSO GRABBING SOME DCR BUT ACTUALLY HE’S JUST BUMPING INTO YOU A LITTLE BIT SO THAT YOU TAKE A STEP BACKWARDS, FLIPPING OVER KEVIN, SO YOU REACH OUT FOR ANYTHING TO BREAK YOUR FALL AND YOU END UP SLAPPING YOUR HAND INTO THE DIP AND YOUR FINGERS GO INTO THE DIP A LITTLE BIT AND EVERYONE IS MAD AT YOU! LIKE YOUR FINGERS CAN’T GO INTO THE DIP A LITTLE BIT? THEY CAN GO INTO THE DIP A LITTLE BIT!
IN: TOUCHDOWN DANCE!
OUT: LOOKING AT A SINGLE TEXT FROM YOUR DAD DURING THE HALFTIME SHOW
Mr. Sandwich is your father and he loves to share his advice and opinions regardless of if you want or need them. He also performs as three handsome boys in the Windy Apple of Chicago. See him live. See him dead. He is eternal.
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By Mr. Sandwich