Close Menu
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Robot Butt
    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      My MRI at Seattle Grace Hospital Went Well, Aside From the Bomb Threat, Active Shooter, and Staff Having Sex in My Room

      May 20, 2025

      22-Year-Old Describes Kind of Weird Thing They Saw as ‘Lynchian’

      April 10, 2025

      James Bond Gets Briefed on SignalGate

      April 2, 2025

      “Too Dark and Incredibly Quiet” Becomes Highest Grossing Unintelligible Film Ever

      March 14, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s Idris Elba’s Music

      May 9, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 7, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      My MRI at Seattle Grace Hospital Went Well, Aside From the Bomb Threat, Active Shooter, and Staff Having Sex in My Room

      May 20, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s Idris Elba’s Music

      May 9, 2025
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Books

      May 10, 2025

      A Cartoon About Drinking A Lite Beer

      April 27, 2025

      A Cartoon About Pizza

      April 24, 2025

      A Cartoon About A Greek Wrap

      March 23, 2025

      “TRUMPLESTILSKIN” AND OTHER UPDATED BROTHERS GRIMM STORIES:

      April 7, 2025

      Look Here Pardner, According To The Most Recent Class 9 Census Report, This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

      February 15, 2025

      What Happened to the Great American Mall

      January 27, 2025

      Ernest Hemingway Goes Sober Curious 

      August 8, 2024
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      FECES BIOLOGIST FINDS OUT YOU CAN PICK LITERALLY ANY JOB ON EARTH

      April 16, 2025

      PLACEBO EFFECT? We Gave a 10-Year-Old Non-Alcoholic Beer and He Wrecked His Car

      January 23, 2025

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      How to Show You’re Smart Without Saying a Word: What We Can Learn From Mimes 

      February 24, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      DO PILGRIMS KNOW 1 +1?

      June 7, 2025

      Deciphering the Hidden Message in the 19 Random Stickers I Received with the Secondhand T-Shirt I Bought Online

      June 6, 2025
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025

      Congratulations, Class of 2024 – Now Go Out Into This World and Be Very Insecure About Your Penis

      May 18, 2024

      REPORT: Secretariat Proud Of Derby Winning Descendant And Disappointed In 13 Losing Descendants

      May 6, 2025

      All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation

      April 4, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Pope Leo XIV Reveals He “Is Not a Practicing Catholic”

      May 30, 2025

      Man Who Needs Vital Surgery Unfortunately on Same GoFundMe Page as Dying Dog

      May 23, 2025

      Trump Boys Pull Prank By Running Around White House With 1 and 3 Written On Their Chests

      May 22, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      REPORT: Mel Brooks Still Alive (Read This Article Before We Have To Delete It)

      May 11, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025

      In Memoriam: Our Head Of Data Operations, Ryan

      April 22, 2025

      Pope Leo XIV Reveals He “Is Not a Practicing Catholic”

      May 30, 2025

      Man Who Needs Vital Surgery Unfortunately on Same GoFundMe Page as Dying Dog

      May 23, 2025

      Trump Boys Pull Prank By Running Around White House With 1 and 3 Written On Their Chests

      May 22, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      An Open Letter To RFK Jr., Please Come And Pick Up Your Brain Worm From My House, He’s Scaring Me

      June 9, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      DO PILGRIMS KNOW 1 +1?

      June 7, 2025

      An Open Letter To RFK Jr., Please Come And Pick Up Your Brain Worm From My House, He’s Scaring Me

      June 9, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      DO PILGRIMS KNOW 1 +1?

      June 7, 2025

      An Open Letter To RFK Jr., Please Come And Pick Up Your Brain Worm From My House, He’s Scaring Me

      June 9, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      DO PILGRIMS KNOW 1 +1?

      June 7, 2025
    Robot Butt
    Home»All Content»The Hub»Articles»Life»Hoof-Print Tattoos, Singing Garbage Truck Rides, Shootouts on The Polar Express: Christmas Experiences for the Entire Family!
    Life

    Hoof-Print Tattoos, Singing Garbage Truck Rides, Shootouts on The Polar Express: Christmas Experiences for the Entire Family!

    Maury LevineBy Maury LevineDecember 24, 2022No Comments3 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

    It’s that wonderful time of the year when families gather during the Christmas season. Praying together and donating to the poor…boring! Grab the kids and the least annoying relatives and take them on Exciting Christmas Experiences:

    Six Flags Presents The Riddler’s Mindbender Missing Jesus Nativity Coaster Thriller – It’s Christmas in Gotham City and The Riddler has stolen Jesus from the nativity scene in front of City Hall! Commissioner Gordon needs your help! The classic steel coaster has been transformed for the holidays. Each of the three loops has been adorned with gold, frankincense, and myrrh for the three Wise Men. The seven-story drop has been fashioned into a massive Christmas tree. You’ll be dodging the Riddler’s snowball bullets as you race to rescue the baby Jesus. Holy Christmas, Batman!

    Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer: The Immersive Experience – Become a part of the most beloved holiday song like never before! This one hundred thousand square foot exhibit takes you into Grandma’s fateful night, with cinema quality moving graphics depicting the song’s lyrics. You’ll see Grandma drink too much egg nog and she’ll ask you to help find her medication. Plunge into the snow with her and witness the gruesome reindeer attack for yourself. Next, you’ll get to watch the football game of your choice with Grandpa and help him through the five stages of grief. Later, you’ll try on Grandma’s wigs as you sample delicious goose dishes and puddings made of fig. Upgrade to the VIP Experience and have hoof-prints tattooed on your forehead.

    Santa Baby, Sanitation Baby Sing Along – Surly sanitation engineers have been taught how to sing and are dressed up as elves! Garbage trucks have been transformed into whimsical sleighs! Kids will love singing favorite Christmas tunes and collecting “Santa’s Magical Garbage” along the way!

    Robbery on The Polar Express – Take your kids to the local railroad station for a very special ride on The Polar Express. You’ll travel with a young boy on a journey of self-discovery as his trip to the North Pole is suddenly interrupted by a life-like recreation of a famous train robbery. Children will love the sudden appearance of the cursing masked bandits and they’ll be delighted by a front-row seat for the shootout between the robbers, the sheriff, and the engineer. Many lucky kids get splattered with fake blood, making it a Christmas they’ll never forget.

    Carol of the Bills – Yes, Virginia, even bill collectors get into the holiday sprit! You’ll travel into the winter wonderland of a bill collecting call center where the representatives sing their dunning notices:

     You owe us cash
     Give us your stash 
     Credit will be
     Smelling like pee
    
     Home we will wreck
     Mail us a check
     Garnish your wage
     Fill you with rage
    
     You owe us money
     It's not so funny
     Presents will be
     Not under tree
    
     Give us our money
     Things are not sunny 
     No more excuses
     Time for some bruises 

    The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection Live in 3D IMAX – For the first time, Taylor Swift performs her iconic Christmas album live. This one-time-only event will be live-streamed exclusively in 3D IMAX theatres around the country. In the time it took you to read this description, all the tickets sold out. Better luck next time, sucker.

    Christmas Maury Levine Santa Taylor Swift theme park
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Maury Levine

    Maury is the author of the humorous mystery 'Shopping Bagged,' a contributor to the comedy websites The Broadway Beat, End of the Bench, The Spoof, Points in Case, and Little Old Lady Comedy, and had a riff used in an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. He is also a drummer, and lives in Birmingham, Alabama with his excellent family.

    Related Posts

    In Like Lint

    June 8, 2025

    FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

    June 7, 2025

    DO PILGRIMS KNOW 1 +1?

    June 7, 2025

    Comments are closed.

    Search Robot Butt
    Read More Robot Butt

    The 50 Best Movies of the 1990s

    NASA History: What Were the Objectives of Every Apollo Mission?

    These Are the Weirdest Promotions in Major League Baseball History

    The Robot Butt Podcasts
    Robot Butt Podcasts

    Check out the Robot Butt Podcasts and then give a listen to our friends below:

    ROGUE SQUADRON PODCAST

    Star Wars, beer, music, video games and more!
    The Robot Butt Videos
    Robot Butt Videos

    Unrelenting comedy in video form!
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram Pinterest
    © 2025 ThemeSphere. Designed by ThemeSphere.

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.