A lot has happened this past year. Education, underemployment, politics, unemployment, nonprofit work – we’re doing it all. In just three years, you went from earning $14.50 at your waitressing job to a whole $15. Wow! You might not be able to pay off those student loans you keep deferring, but you can still show your school pride by donating to the scholarship fund.
Remember that one libertarian from your poli sci class? The one whose parents own a yacht and a bunch of stock in Disney or something? He’s a corporate wealth analyst at Fok-Lepore LLC now, which means you get to feel slightly less destitute when you flex on your coworkers who went to community college and not the same liberal arts school as someone who’ll eventually wreck the livelihoods of millions.
Amazing how a lowly legacy student can go from defining tyranny as women’s studies and not being able to say the N-word to being the same person but with a disproportionate reign over the world’s economy.
Your ex just got a promotion at Any Job That Provides Benefits and a Livable Wage, but you probably already knew this because you blocked him on Instagram only to compulsively lurk on his profile in incognito mode. Also, good news: that girl in all of his photos isn’t his girlfriend anymore, so you can finally move on because they’re actually engaged! Their wedding will be somewhere you wouldn’t be able to afford to go even if he’d invited you like he did all your mutual friends.
A significant number of your classmates work in the service industry just like you, though the 70% post-graduate employment statistic on our website won’t tell you how many because we believe all jobs are equally valid, even the underpaying ones that don’t require a BA degree.
And that does it for now! Tune in next year for a very special coronavirus obituary issue.
