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    Home»All Content»Uncanny Valley»Staff Posts»10 Chicago Cubs Curses You Never Knew Existed
    Staff Posts

    10 Chicago Cubs Curses You Never Knew Existed

    The Robot Butt StaffBy The Robot Butt StaffOctober 26, 2016Updated:March 13, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
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    1908 Cubs Team

    Sure, you know about the billy goat and Steve Bartman. But the Chicago Cubs haven’t won a World Series in 108 years; you had to know there were a bunch of other curses placed on the team and its fans throughout the years.

    Oh, you didn’t? Then you better start reading. Here are ten Chicago Cubs curses you didn’t know about:

    The Curse of Harry Caray

    Following Harry Caray’s death in 1998, all burgers within Wrigley Field have been cursed and eating them leads to illness and frightening hallucinations. Caray’s devout Hinduism led him to regularly proclaim “Holy cow!” during games in an effort to sway the public and rid Wrigley of beef, but his efforts were in vain, so he now exacts his revenge from beyond the grave.

    The Curse of Capone

    Per the Curse of Capone, Cubs fans will get obliterated and make complete asses of themselves – usually so much so that they are unaware of the events of the game. The effects of this curse are especially prominent during summer games but the expectation is that it will continue into the World Series.

    The Curse of the Cub

    The Curse of the The Cub is a 1915 silent film adaptation of a 1910 Broadway play of the same name. In an attempt to capitalize on the Chicago Cubs back-to-back World Series wins in the late aughts, William A. Brady sullied a work of theatrical art by converting it to a tricked up silent film complete with gratuitous car crashes and alien puppets. Alas…

    The Has-Been Curse

    There must be at least two former famous actors, musicians or athletes in the stands at a Cubs game or they will lose.

    The Curse of the Curse

    If anyone in Chicago, from Chicago or who supports Chicago says the word “curse” or uses a dirty curse word any time throughout the year, the Cubs will not win the World Series.

    The Bill Murray Curse

    In 2001, a witch fed up with Bill Murray’s on-screen antics placed a curse on the actor that would never allow him to make a fun comedy ever again – unless the Cubs won it all.

    The Curse of the GOAT

    The Cubs will not win a World Series until the American people can come to a final decision on who is the greatest rapper of all time.

    The Seventh Inning Stretch Curse

    The person singing at Wrigley Field must NEVER know the words to “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”.

    The Deep Dish Curse

    All Chicagoans visiting Wrigley Field are given the opportunity to push a button on a box. If you do, someone, who you don’t know, will choke to death on cheese. You in turn will get a delicious Chicago dog.

    The Chicago Dog Curse

    The people of Chicago were cursed to believe that hot dogs were an acceptable regional delicacy.

     

     

    Baseball baseball curse chicago cubs chicago cubs curses chicago cubs world series Sports world series
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    The Robot Butt Staff

    We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.

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