Every single movie could stand to be improved from the inclusion of pizza. But there are some especially cringe-inducing absences of everyone’s favorite food in film history. And to think, some movies that originally contained pizza scenes GOT RID OF THEM. Today, we’re pointing out 20 of the most horrendous, impossible-to-ignore examples with the hope that one day, Hollywood will hear our collective voice and right these painful wrongs.
- The movie Glory originally focused on the statewide Pizza Championship in Glory, Indiana, but was altered to a Civil War film in editing.
- The Lady and the Tramp‘s famous spaghetti scene was originally of the two dogs sharing a piece of pizza but Disney decided the messy melted cheese was a little too erotic for a children’s film.
- Did you know there isn’t ONE pizza in any scene of Schindler’s List? Originally, the only colored segment of the film was going to be the red slices of pepperoni on a pizza a guard was eating, but the colorist on the film somehow convinced Speilberg to go with a young girl’s red jacket instead.
- Early drafts of the screenplay for Spartacus had all the slaves standing up and declaring, “Let’s have a pizza party!”
- If those people in Cannibal Holocaust just brought some pizza with them, they would have been fine.
- In Jurassic Park, Ray Arnold’s famous “Hold on to your butts” line was first written as “Hold on to your crusts.”
- Unknown to most fans, Mel Brooks cut a lengthy Pizza the Hutt sex scene from Spaceballs, but the footage is available as an extra on the Blu-ray.
- Richard Gere was supposed to be snapping closed a pizza box instead of a jewelry case in Pretty Woman.
- At the end of Se7en, Brad Pitt opens the box and finds vegan white pizza, which is why he understandably freaks out.
- The Graduate was supposed to end with Dustin Hoffman riding off on a bus with a pizza instead of Elaine.
- If there had been a pizza delivery to the Titanic, so many lives could have been saved.
- Home Alone originally ends by Kevin brutally forcing pizza down the throats of Harry and Marv, killing them both.
- The first draft of Raiders of the Lost Ark was called Raiders of the Lost Sauce and was about Indiana Jones’ distaste for white pizzas. And when the Ark is opened, every Nazi turns into an unbearable vegan.
- If pizza were the prize, instead of high school glory, maybe Seth Green would’ve tried harder to win the rollerblade race at the end of Airborne.
- Star Wars would’ve been better if Papa John was Luke’s father instead of Papa Vader.
- Marlon Brando’s original line in The Godfather was, “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse. Three large pizzas for the price of one, unlimited toppings. You’d have to be crazy to say no.” But Coppala stupidly thought it deflated tension.
- The original ending to The Shawshank Redemption featured Andy and Red in a montage that involved them eating slices of pizza in various settings.
- Before Dustin Hoffman was cast, a Chicago-style deep dish pizza was considered to play Benjamin Braddock in The Graduate.
- The first draft of Casablanca included the line “We’ll always have pizza” instead of “We’ll always have Paris.” To think, one of the greatest movies all time could have been better.
- The original script of American Pie had Jason Biggs fucking a deep dish ‘za.