CAMP WAMPANAKA – We’ve now confirmed that the infamous Camp Slaughter Killer has returned despite being shot, burned alive, and…
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UNDISCLOSED BAD GUY WAREHOUSE – Reports came in this week that another massive shootout happened at the warehouse near da…
CHICAGO, IL – A writer for a relatively unknown parody and pop-culture site was seen today just chilling on his…
WASHINGTON DC – With 2024 having record-breaking highs in temperature nearly every single month, climate scientists have once again begged…
In a horrible reveal, our crack news team has found new information about the purpose of the mystery drones spotted…
What could he possibly mean by this?! Nearly every one of our nation’s defense groups were on alert this week…
CHICAGO—Archer Heights resident Kyle Tulane has cited “feeling unfulfilled living as a bus” in his decision last month to cease…
In an unsurprising win, phone app Subway Surfers once again won the Golden Globe, or something. I wasn’t really paying…
Because I am a masochist, I watched Wednesday’s entire three-hour debate between the 6,743 hopefuls vying to become the Republican presidential…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. – Saying it’s “no big deal” and “everyone should just lighten up,” local pizza lover Adam Kenrow defended his…