Author: Steve DiMatteo

The Vietnam War was, at best, a colossal military failure for the United States and, at worst, a demonstration of the country’s willingness to commit atrocities of all kinds and consistently find ways to try to justify them. But one good innovation did come from the war, and it was in the form of dick-biting dolphins trained by the U.S. Navy. According to Max Hastings’ exhaustive Vietnam history, five bottlenose dolphins – named Garth, John, Slan, Tinker, and Toad – were deployed to Cam Ranh Bay to guard an ammunition pier and attack “swimming saboteurs” in the early ’70s. According…

Congratulations on making it to the end of the 2019! Your prize will be enduring 2020, which will feature nonstop election coverage from the second the year begins, and it will only get progressively more insane with every passing second after that, until none of us will be able to comprehend the supposed reality set before us, which can only result in an eventual complete breakdown of our collective mental capacities and, of course, society itself. Anyway! Until that happens, check out the ten most-read posts we published in 2019: 10. We’re Sorry Sir, But ‘Finger Lickin’ Good’ Refers to…

The Cable Guy, despite its all-star talent both in front of and behind the camera, has never truly gotten its due. Released during Jim Carrey’s absurd stretch in the ’90s that included Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, Batman Forever, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, and Liar Liar, it seems as though The Cable Guy has always been regarded as something of a disappointing flop. But was it really? Though it has reached cult status in recent years, and despite the fact that it did make money when it came out (though not the incredible box office…

If you grew up in the ’90s, you know all about Gordon Bombay, the Flying V, and those “quack, quack, quack” chants, most often directed at authority figures. The Mighty Ducks was an integral part of many childhoods, and remains one of Disney’s very best live-action kids’ movies. The Mighty Ducks also existed in that time when Disney wasn’t so uptight about what it showed on screen, especially in its live-action fare. A movie like this had a little something for everybody, and also seemed to play fast and loose with more adult themes, such as Gordon Bombay flat-out chugging…

“For he’s a jolly good fellow, For he’s a jolly good fellow, For he’s a jolly good fellow, Which nobody can deny!” Great singing, everybody! Now, as you all know, this is Michael’s last day with the company. Tracy in accounting baked him this delicious cake and Randy over in marketing did one of his infamous cubicle pranks to really get the day revved up. And now, in our final send-off, we have collectively sung Michael’s praises, bestowing upon him the title of “jolly good fellow.” Through his three years here, Michael has truly done everything to live up to…

Pop star Taylor Swift has recently begun to throw out her political opinions, but I had no idea she would take this turn. In her new song “Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince” off her album Lover, Swift has written what is quite clearly a love letter to QAnon, the mysterious figure at the center of a conspiracy theory in which QAnon is attempting to thwart a deep state plot to take down President Donald Trump from the likes of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and George Soros. Don’t believe me that Swift is a full-on Q disciple? Let’s just look…

I know this is the feeling-out period between voters and all six hundred of the 2020 Democratic contenders, but Pete Buttigieg just took himself out of the running in my mind with an absolutely SICKENING comment at the Iowa State Fair this week. While holding court at the Cedar County fairgrounds, Mayor Pete laid out his policy plans for rural America and spoke of his time as mayor of South Bend, Indiana. He also ate all the customary fair food, rode rides, signed autographs and fielded any and all questions from those in attendance. Including a question about the designated…

Let’s Have Sax is our semi-regular column highlighting the lost art of saxophones in rock music – and the pressing need for them to return. Warren Zevon had a long, winding, and weird career, but he found his biggest commercial and critical success with his 1978 release Excitable Boy. And while everyone knows the great “Werewolves of London,” it’s not the best thing on the album. That’s reserved for the album’s title track. “Excitable Boy” is a supremely bizarre tale of a sadistic child who, after experimenting with some weird, though somewhat innocent, behavior, graduates to murdering his prom date,…

If you look in the toilet and are mortified at what is staring back at you, you’ve come to the right place. Many people are driven to search “Why is my poop black?” when their turds become darker than the night, and it’s completely understandable. No one likes looking into the void. You’ll find plenty of medical sites offering explanations for this unsettling occurrence, such as ingesting medications that contain bismuth or taking iron supplements. Hell, they’ll try to tell you that black stool is simply the cause of eating black food. That’s what you get for eating black licorice,…

Ever since Avengers: Endgame tore into theaters with a $357 million opening, the movie’s quest to dethrone Avatar as the top-grossing film of all time is all anybody can talk about. But the entire movie industry doesn’t just revolve around the Avengers, you know. We should be celebrating all achievements in film, such as the fact that Garfield: The Movie is the 771st largest movie in history, grossing just over $200 million worldwide in its 2004 run. Two-hundred million dollars is nothing to sneeze at! It made nearly $22 million in its opening weekend alone, recouping almost HALF of the…