Author: Steve

Our rights as Americans are being infringed upon on a daily basis. The latest case of this ongoing travesty comes from Oklahoma, where a man – Jorge Perez – was simply minding his own business before being harassed by the cops. That’s right, Perez was just trying to take a bath in a local public fountain, washing his hair with mayonnaise, perhaps a strategy for maintaining its health. Apparently, this scared a number of people who witnessed it happen, but why were these sick Peeping Toms staring in the first place? Either they were upset they didn’t think to do it…

Hurricane Odile wreaked some havoc in Mexico and the southwest United States last weekend, but can you really blame it? After all, it was probably only acting out after growing up with such a ridiculous name, which, I can assure you, bullies zeroed in on from the very start. Sure, you might argue that the Odile name is unique and it really shows off an individual personality, but that doesn’t mean there was any mercy shown to the storm. Odile was unique, sure, but in the sense that it’s unique how much of a pounding it got for having such…

Demi Lovato, an apparent pop star I could never identify if I had a gun to my head despite seeing a picture of her right this second, has an inescapable song out right now called “Really Don’t Care,” a full-blown girl power anthem that features plenty of anger directed at a nameless, faceless guy, including Demi giving said guy the finger – in public! But it’s the chorus to this song that makes it so interesting: But even if the stars and moon collide I never want you back into my life You can take your words and all your…

Here at Robot Butt, we’re just happy you found us, no matter how it came to be. That’s the kind of desperation that floats around in these parts. Therefore, we enjoy the excellent search terms that bring visitors to our site, so I figured I’d share some of the best recent ones: penis torture beach breasts awesome cleavage pooping with the door open is iraq a lost cause weird al butt everything butt drops shredder a robot rappers with street cred who listens to country music While it’s concerning that someone would legitimately ask if Shredder is a robot (further proof that…

It used to be thought impossible to spend $300 at Denny’s without your insides exploding from the extreme self-abuse. Until now! Thankfully, an upscale Denny’s has opened in New York City, where it is incredibly easy to drop $300 on a meal for two. With the “Grand Cru Slam” combo meal, you’ll get a bottle of chilled 2004 Dom Perignon and two Grand Slam breakfast meals, which we all know contain eggs, bacon, sausage and pancakes. You might be wondering why in the world you’d want Dom Perignon with your Grand Slam meal, which you’ve typically only gotten while already…

I stand by the notion that Nelly remains criminally underrated. And it’s largely because no one else is going around saying he should be considered for some sort of national monument, or at least a government holiday. I say this for many reasons, but the biggest of which might be for his song “Pimp Juice,” which is truly the most tolerant song of all time. To understand this declaration, we must first define what pimp juice actually is. Nelly’s song describes it as anything that attracts the opposite sex, be it “money, fame or straight intellect.” It’s very important to note…

We could say that the people at Hershey’s made a grave error by designing a new logo that includes what appears to be a neat little turd pile, but that’s not giving their marketing geniuses (who, based on this development, may or may not serve Funyuns at meetings) any credit. They knew they were designing a round, steaming mass of poop, and they knew we’d all notice it. And really, none of us would be spending much time thinking about the new logo if it didn’t include defecation on it. And sure, Hershey took a chance by associating poop with their products,…

Well everybody, we had a good run, but like all magical things in life, Pizza Week I had to come to an end. – What’s that? No, no one promised that Pizza Week would last forever. I mean, it’s specifically in the title that it would last a week, and we still went over that. Anyway, thank you for making it a success! From poetry to pizza fashion to pizza’s ultimate, Icarus-esque assault on the universe, we hope to have expanded your horizons on the only food that will ever matter. We also hope you enjoyed the introduction of Pizza…

We’ve spent a lot of time in the world of Little Caesars for Pizza Week, and for good reason. So guess what? We’re dipping back into that well once again. The company that brought you the $5 Lunch Combo abomination is also about to roll out a pizza that will truly blow your mind and make you rethink your entire role in the universe. Brace yourself for the pretzel crust pizza. That’s right – just when you thought that they’ve tried everything in the pizza world, that it could be completely tapped out of ideas, the industry comes right back…

Here at Robot Butt, we all love Pizza Week, but I’m also afraid of the consequences if I should ever try to put a stop to it. There is this overwhelming feeling that something…something bad could happen if we try to move on to other content. So Pizza Week trucks forward!