6’5”, 2,507-year-old heir to the throne of Zagdor seeks a corn-fed, normal-looking woman, preferably from the Midwestern United States. Perhaps with an exciting job such as customer service or data analysis. I do not show up in human photographs due to the fluorescence of my skin, but if you’ve seen The Shape Of Water, combine that with Henry Cavill and that is unfortunately what I look like. I’ve little to offer: Could a very average girl find room in her heart for someone like me? Would she bear the burden of becoming my queen, sharing my Zalibu-King-sized bed with me…
Author: Helen Laser
Helen Laser
Helen Laser is a New York City-based writer and audiobook narrator. Her work has been published in Lit Magazine, Referential Magazine, Crab Fat Magazine, The TQ Review, Muses, Inwood Indiana Press, First Writer, Pop Machine, Gone Zine and Beast Grrl Zine, to name a few. She won the 2012 National Silver Medal for Novel-Writing from the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards, and graduated with honors from Muhlenberg College with a degree in English. In the audiobook world, she is an Audie Award Finalist, multiple Audiofile Earphones Award winner, LA Times Book Awards Finalist, and RUSA Listen List pick. Her narration has been selected by Reese Witherspoon for her book club, for the Read With Jenna/Today Show Book Club, and has made many lists including (but not limited to): Audible's "Editors Picks," Apple Audiobooks "Must Listens," Libro.fm's "Most Pre-Ordered Audiobooks," Amazons "Top 10 Audiobooks," The New York Times "7 Audiobooks to Listen to Now," The Wall Street Journal's "The 12 Best Audiobooks for Every Reader" and many more.