Dear Great White Northern Neighbor, May we call you that? We, the American people, divided though we are, find ourselves deeply distraught by the swift deterioration of our once esteemed friendship with you. While we are not at liberty to discuss the current economic “misunderstanding” for fear of indecisive retribution and half-measured threats, we humbly ask that you accept this list of heartfelt and much overdue apologies in the hopes we can be besties again. We’re sorry for stealing your most precious assets—Ryans, both Gosling and Reynolds. While we are unable to return them because Hollywood needs their good-natured charm to…
Author: Blythe Chadim
Blythe Chadim
Blythe is a geriatric millennial and very tired toddler mom trying to find the humor in life’s craziness (and write about it). Find more of her work on The Belladonna, Frazzled, and The Haven. Follow her on Bluesky @blythewrites, Instagram @blythechadim, or visit her website at https://www.blythechadim.com/.