BETHLEHEM — Still reeling from the holiday gift exchange, the third wise man has expressed deep frustration after realizing he was the only one who respected the previously agreed-upon $25 gift limit for the newborn Messiah, while the other two had absolutely blown the budget with gold and frankincense.
“Gold? In this economy?!?” said Balthazar who brought myrrh.
According to sources traveling with the caravan, the three wise men agreed weeks earlier in a lengthy group chat to cap gifts at $25.
“Myrrh is a perfectly respectable choice given the parameters,” Balthazar added. “It’s artisanal. It’s fragrant. It’s meaningful.”
Balthazar made sure to show everyone the receipt he held onto “just in case.”
“This is the biggest social event of the year,” continued Balthazar, “I wanted to make a good impression and start the year bangin’.” However, Melchior, who brought gold, responded more casually, “We three kings have travelled so far—let’s all be chill”.
Upon hearing the argument, Caspar shouted, “Jesus Christ Balthazar, frankincense was on sale.”
The camel ride home was silent.