Help me buy back my soul from the devil.
Keep reading for fundraiser details, pledge goals and rewards, updates, FAQs, and user comments.
$2,043.28 pledged of $1 million goal
666 backers 13 days to go
Tacoma, Washington, USA
This project will only be funded if the devil takes the deal.
Campaign
How It Happened
It was Flint’s fault. I mean, I thought he was cool and all, but after we were all talking about how Through the Fire and the Flames was just IMPOSSIBLE on Guitar Hero, he told us the legend of Robert Johnson. The dude sold his soul to the devil for his musical talent. Damn, right?
I mean, Mr. Flint was a high school history teacher rock and roll wannabe, playing bass with his cover band at house parties on the weekend. He probably wanted to sell his soul too. GH came out when I was 13 years old. I played every waking hour my parents would let me. Mom hated the noise, but my dad would sometimes play along, especially when my friends were over. He was mortifying, but he got pretty good at Sweet Child O’ Mine. I was sic. Good enough that I was actually cool at school. Guitar Hero defined me.
Selling My Soul
One night I was bored, and just for fun I summoned the devil. I mean, he was already right there on the screen. All I wanted was the ability to beat GH at every level. Lucifer gladly made the deal. I thought it was just part of the game, but then… I won the school tournament.
Then I won in Vegas.
I even won in Japan.
Regrets
I think I sold more than my soul. I am amazing at Guitar Hero, but I literally suck at everything else. I am not good at any other video game. I dropped out of high school. And I can’t play a real guitar for shit.
So, I need your help. I want my soul back. I know, it’s not your problem, but it’s been over six years since Activision shut down GH. I am 33 and can’t take living in my parent’s rec. room any longer. Worse, I can’t even play the game anymore as my system gets glitchy no matter what I do. I mean seriously, should we be forever punished for the stupid ass decisions of our youth? Bro, help a dude out. There are some dope offers.
Risks
It’s the Devil.
Pledge Levels
Pledge $0 without a reward
Back it because you believe in it.
Support the project for no money and no reward, just because it speaks to you.
661 backers
Pledge $3.1415926 or more
Tabasco Level
Receive a devilish flame sticker. Great to stick on your laptop case.
Estimated Delivery August 15th
2 backers
Pledge $39 or more
Cholula Level
Receive a color-changing coffee mug. Sip your coffee diablo-style.
Estimated Delivery July 1st
1 backers
Pledge $666 or more
Sriracha Level
Receive a social media shout out from none other than Lucifer himself.
Estimated Delivery next Friday the 13th
3 backers
Pledge $9,973 or more
Tapatio Level
Receive a one-of-a kind, tie-dyed, devil-signed beach towel.
Estimated Delivery just in time for summer
0 backers
Pledge $100,003 or more
Mad Dog 357 Level
Two words: hot pads
Estimated Delivery as soon as your credit card clears
0 backers
FAQ
Can’t you just get a job?
I’d like to, but as I said, due to the deal I have no other skills. I bombed out at the drive-through at Taco Bell.
What makes you think your soul is worth $1 million dollars?
Look, I don’t set the price. He does. I know it is a stretch, but I don’t know what else to do. At least he seems willing to help me raise the money.
Updates
January 25th : Lucifer keeps getting people to pledge $0 without a reward. Come on people, I don’t need your encouragement, I need money.
Comments
Aaron, 1 week ago
A shout out from Lucifer? I’m in. Can he do it on X? I want to repost.
Karen, 5 days ago
Honey, $39 is a lot for a coffee mug. Would you please send one for me AND your dad?
Jake, 2 hours ago
Dude, do you take crypto?