> I have paid some taxes in the past, and would release my returns if I could find them, but I’m really bad at keeping track of that stuff.
> While many detractors will tell you that I live with my mother, I can assure you that my mother lives with me. Not the other way around. And the fact is that she keeps most of her Social Security check.
> I acknowledge all out-of-wedlock children who filed the proper forms before the deadline. This acknowledgment, however, does not guarantee child support or holiday gifts of any kind, and does not constitute a show of affection.
> I was never guilty of harassment of my second or third wife, and never violated the restraining order filed by wife number one.
> Any “sexting” I may have done was done when it was still 𝘦𝘯 𝘷𝘰𝘨𝘶𝘦. I might add that it was only intended for one or two people, and not to be turned into an overused meme with googly eyes that litters the internet.
> None of the shady money I received from foreign governments went to my son’s drug habit.
> As far as my health is concerned, Doctors Doolittle, Huxtable, and Pepper all agree – it’s a concern.
> I don’t own any Kanye West music or footwear.
> I vote at least once in every election.
> I’ve never paid an adult film star hush-money to hide a sexual liason . . . However, I’m open to new relationships.
> That stuff I tweeted about those people or that incident was done when I was young . . . or intoxicated.
> I’ve never knowingly broken bread with a white supremacist. However, my opinionated grandfather used to say some crazy shit at Thanksgiving, but he was pretty loaded and from another time.
> None of my friends or acquaintances are billionaires that loan me their yachts or fly me around in their private jets . . . But again, I’m open to new relationships.
> I will accept the election results and ensure a peaceful transfer of power . . . the moment I am declared the winner.
I hope this clears the air, and paves the way for me to earn your vote.
Sincerely,
“Fast Eddie”
