Haroldson’s Rice Cakes care about this world. Crunch into a whole grain treat that has the guts to fight.
Haroldson’s Rice Cakes make a scrumptious snack or turn one into a meal. Just don’t top it with an egg or smoked salmon. Our rice cakes are vegan, always have been.
Truth be told, our rice cakes were briefly larded. We rescued several tons of lard en route to a landfill. Please understand, meat is murder but saving would-be wasted hog parts is a refreshing glass of water.
People have questioned one rice cake being a meal, calling it “improbable” and “harmful messaging”. A single Haroldson’s Rice Cake has sustained a small army for a week! The rice, the limited sodium, it’s all there. Try not to question us.
Haroldson’s Rice Cake worker-owners are empowered to manifest our hearts’ desire. Fortunately, we love manufacturing rice cakes. Unfortunately, we’re struggling to survive. Along with private matters and beguiling health problems, we’ve simply given too much profit back to the earth. There are also ongoing lard-based legal issues. We’re a couple of rice cakes away from being out on the street.
Locally procured coconut flakes add to a chewy mouthfeel that says, “Climate Emergency is Now!” Help us keep fighting by enjoying our Foraged Huckleberry Pie Rice Cake. It’s puffed sky-high with rice that literally screams “Halt All Air Travel!” We’ve solved the sogginess issue and, priced at twenty dollars, it’s yummy for generations.
We’re aware we may need to tweak ”yummy for generations”.
Haroldson’s Rice Cakes are shipped in reusable containers and sold in bulk. We know you’re just like us, a little broken, a little dirty, and single-use plastic can lead to a knife fight.
Knife fights have also proven costly for the Haroldson’s Rice Cake Family.
Haroldson’s Rice Cakes assume you would never deign to golf. It hardly needs saying, but the only way you’d step onto a golf course would be amid a gritty, months-long occupation building truly affordable housing. Hypothetically, next Thursday, on Walnut Creek’s Back 9, rice cake in hand, paint your face with mud and blood and join us as we build one-hundred earthen homes.
Focusing strictly on the forest ensconced 6th hole is not a better plan! Being well spaced will keep us nimble and minimize infighting.
Working day and night, we’ll keep our spirits up with cheerful chants demanding a basic income and universal health care. That and tasty turmeric rice cakes will keep us moving and grooving.
Still sound like a grind? In our limited downtime, we’ll have fun playing cards. Playing cards leads to socializing, and socializing with us leads to overthrowing capitalism! Haroldson’s Rice Cakes, let’s fight like hell!
Please buy a dozen Haroldson’s Rice Cakes today!