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    Home»All Content»The Hub»Articles»Life»Rules For Dating My Adult Step-Son
    Life

    Rules For Dating My Adult Step-Son

    Dr. Oculus BandersnatchBy Dr. Oculus BandersnatchMarch 31, 2023Updated:April 11, 2023No Comments2 Mins Read
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    It’s been a big year at the Bandersnatch household. My step-son, Marcus, just turned 36, which is threatening to overshadow my 33rd birthday next week. He is the light of Debbie and I’s life, and we think it is time for him to stop hiding that light under a bushel and learn to love again. But before you get any ideas, you should know there are some rules I worked out with his father (my best friend):

    1. Treat Him the Way You’d Like to be Treated

    2. Always Keep a Spare Key Handy. He has Night Terrors and Needs Someone to Sing him a Lullaby. Also he Loses his Keys A Lot

    3. No Tickling

    4. I Taught Him Everything He Knows, and I Mean EVERYTHING

    5. I Need a Written Record of Everything he Says About Me

    6. It’s not weird that his father and I are close. There’s no competition. The divorce was amicable and my wife and him are still friends. Next year, we are vacationing to Tampa together. We hope Debbie can make it too.

    7. I Need to See Some ID Please

    8. No Spicy Food (Night Terrors)

    9. Don’t Look Him in the Eyes or he will See it as a Challenge and Attack

    10. Be Yourself!

    11. Approach Slowly with Both Palms Up so he Knows You Aren’t a Threat (Especially at the Communal Watering Hole)

    12. NO Vulgarity! If he Says Something Vulgar, he Better not Learn it from You. I Don’t Want him Kissing MY Wife With YOUR Mouth

    13. The Only Protection in Your Nightstand Better be the Bible

    14. He is ALWAYS Player 1

    15. Ever Since my Step-Son Marcus Died Trying to See How Mad he Could Make a Stray Dog at his 36th Birthday Party, Our House hasn’t Felt Like a Home… Because he’s Haunting Us. We Believe Getting him Laid Will Finally Send his Spirit to the Great Beyond (Maybe Hell). Then his Dad (my best friend) and I can Finally Hang in the Jacuzzi in Peace

    bandersnatch dating step-son Walt
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    Dr. Oculus Bandersnatch

    Replicants are bioengineered humans, designed by Tyrell corporation for use off-world. Their enhanced strength made them ideal slave labor. After a series of violent rebellions, their manufacture became prohibited and Tyrell corp went bankrupt. The collapse of ecosystems in the mid 2020s led to the rise of the industrialist Niander Wallace, whose mastery of synthetic farming averted famine. Wallace acquired the remains of Tyrell Corp and created a new line of replicants who obey. Many older model replicants - Nexus 8s with open-ended lifespans - survived. They are hunted down and 'retired'. Those that hunt them still go by the name... Blade Runner

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