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    Home»All Content»Uncanny Valley»Breaking News»Earliest Dick Pic Found in Fallen WWI Veteran’s Letter to Widow
    Breaking News

    Earliest Dick Pic Found in Fallen WWI Veteran’s Letter to Widow

    Mark ShadyBy Mark ShadyJanuary 21, 2023No Comments3 Mins Read
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    CANOGA PARK –According to sources close to retired widower Ruth Snell – Farrell it was reported earlier this week that, unbeknownst to her immediate family, she is in possession of the earliest dick pic which currently resides in an envelope along with a letter sent to her from her deceased husband, WWI veteran, William Farrell Jr.

    The letter, dated January 18th, 1918, which Ruth has had among her most cherished belongings since the afternoon it was received, reportedly rests along a black-and-white photo of her husband’s semi-hard dick said to have been taken by a fellow private of his during their stint in basic training a few weeks after William was shipped off to Belfast, coincidentally three days after he and Ruth’s engagement announcement. The cock image, which shows William’s entire length, along with the upper half of his shaved ball sack, has traveled with Ruth in her childhood hope chest since she moved into her first house after marrying a co-worker of William’s, Harvey Snell, after Farrell Jr. was killed in WWI.

    Although Farrell Jr. kept the picture for most of his time overseas, it was not in his possession the entire time. Believing he was missing for several months after an attack in the Argonne Forest, his Division, one of the units in the “lost battalion”, in which 197 troops were killed and approximately 180 more were reported captured or missing, Farrell Jr. was separated from his entire unit. Most of his belongings were then shipped back to his original family in the states. Luckily, a few items were left behind, including, of course, the prized picture of his glorious manhood. After he and a handful of other remaining men were rescued and relocated with their original infantry divisions, in fear of risking another stretch going MIA, Farrell Jr. immediately sent the schlong photo, along with some other photos and several letters were previously written to his sweetheart.

    Sources close to Snell – Farrell says she takes both the letter and the penis pic out at least once a week to reread her late husband’s beautiful words written to her over a hundred years ago when they were both starting their lives together. “William writes of his ‘undying love,’” said a close source, “and refers to Ruth as his ‘one and only’ and the one he’ll ‘adore and cherish until the day he dies.’ Which, unfortunately, happened about 21 days after Farrell Jr. stepped directly on a landmine during a routine exercise, killing him instantly.”

    Snell – Farrell’s family fondly recalls her reading the letter numerous times to them as they were growing up. “Every time I see Grandma reading Grandpa’s beautiful words he wrote to her right before he died, I get so teary-eyed,” began Carrie Snell, Ruth’s oldest Granddaughter. “He had a way with his words and you can tell he had eyes for her only. She’s never shown us the picture he sent along with it. She can’t trust herself not to break down in front of us. Maybe someday we’ll get to see it. I’m sure Grandpa looks so handsome in it.”

    dick pic mark shady ww1
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    Mark Shady

    Mark Shady is an award-winning film writer / producer with over 15 years of independent filmmaking experience. He has written and produced several independent films which have been available worldwide on streaming platforms such as Netflix, Amazon, Tubi, etc. and available on DVD throughout the US. He has worked as a video game producer for TimePlay Entertainment, where he spearheaded TimePlay Sports; an interactive sports trivia game which launched nationwide at Dave & Busters. He is also a regular contributor to satirical online publications such as Functionally Dead and Flexx Mag.

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