How many more states does Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden have to skip and/or be utterly embarrassed in before he’s finally in first place where he belongs? How many more poor primary showings will it take before you motherfuckers realize he’s the best man for the job? All of them? Is that what it’s going to be?
Who else but this doddering old man who insults his own supporters and does something every day that makes you cringe can defeat President Trump? What will it take to get through your thick skull and make you understand that Uncle Joe is the only candidate with the unique skillset and coalition to win a general election, if you’d just kindly let him pass through this primary season like he deserves.
You know it’s his turn, right?
I wonder if that hasn’t been made abundantly clear yet. This isn’t the way the system is supposed to work, so if you could just stop your canvassing for other candidates, stop your little donations to Amy Klobuchar, Pete Buttigieg, or that other guy who won the popular vote in both Iowa and New Hampshire, things will start running so much smoother and we can finally set our sights on November.
Remember when Joe said he could beat Donald Trump in a fistfight? That was fun, wasn’t it? Wouldn’t you love to experience an endless barrage of old-man insults like that hurled by those two, culminating in a presidential debate where they scream at each other over a moderator powerless to stop them? Of course you would.
That’s how we’re gonna win, people. We’re gonna rid the country of malarkey and we’re gonna get in the mud with Donald Trump, while at the same time convincing voters that everything is basically fine, no matter what they actually experience each and every day.
So what is it going to take? A complete demolition in Nevada? A crushing disappointment in South Carolina even though Biden leads in those polls? Absolute annihilation on Super Tuesday? What will finally be the tipping point where you realize no one is better suited to lead this country along the same, uninspiring path than Joe Biden? Because he’s dedicated to sticking things out and enduring punishing blow after punishing blow, all the way to a brokered convention if that’s what it takes.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. We could just give this to him, you know. He’s tried so many times before and, really, how bad could it be?
You didn’t really want any of that stuff that socialist is peddling, did you? Of course you didn’t; the media has made that very clear. So if you could just step aside and make a path for ol’ Joe, that would be great, you dog-faced pony soldier, you.
