Have you been moping around with PFHDD (Post-Fuller House Depressive Disorder) since the end of season three in 2017? Well, you’re in luck because while that’s an incurable disease, we got star Dave Coulier insanely drunk, and he told us everything! Thanks to our dear old Uncle Joey, we now have an exclusive first look at some exciting new storylines of Fuller House season four that should help ease your pain!
1. Bryan Cranston Shows Jackson Chemistry Isn’t So Black and “White”
Beloved actor Bryan Cranston makes his highly-anticipated television return as Jackson’s new chemistry teacher. Cranston’s character, Mr. White, transfers to Jackson’s school after being fed up with the New Mexico heat. Little does Jackson know, he’s about to get more than he bargained for when he learns how colorful chemistry can be.
2. A Beloved Character Dies in a Quirky But Expected Way
Break out those tissues, you’re going to need them. A classic original cast member is going to bite the dust this season and without spoiling anything, let’s just say there’s some lemon Pledge involved. A lot of lemon Pledge. Also, this character likes to clean, hence the lemon Pledge. Again, we really don’t want to give anything away, but you’ll never see this one coming.
3. Joey’s Freaky Fuller
If you love crazy switcheroos, you’re in a for a treat! In an arc that is totally not ripped from Freaky Friday, Joey switches bodies with his longtime felt friend, Mr. Woodchuck! After attending a botched seance conducted by Stephanie in order to contact her dead mom, Joey and Mr. Woodchuck will really learn what’s waiting just around the bend. Joey must learn how to live as a woodchuck puppet, while Mr. Woodchuck gets an exciting glimpse of manhood. So fun audiences will be screaming “Cut it out!”
4. Olsen Twins Sagit-tear-it-up in Their Return
The elusive Olsen twins finally return to the Tanner household in an exciting, top-billed guest star role. Hold the teary family reunions because they’re busy solving crime by dinnertime! That’s right, when Michelle hears about the reappearance of the Zodiac Killer in San Francisco, she dusts off her trench coat in order to finally bring him to justice. We’ve got one thing to say to that: “You got it dude!”
5. DJ Experiences Some “Brotherly” Love
Sick and tired of having so many potential suitors, DJ gets an unexpected twist in her love life when she falls for Mike Seaver, a precocious forty-something with a taste for danger. Seaver, played by Kirk Cameron reprising his role from Growing Pains in a rare crossover, comes in and mixes things up in the Fuller household by introducing radical notions of Christianity to the family. Producers are saying that Seaver’s introduction will act as a backdoor spinoff for a new Growing Pains reboot starring the incomparable, morally-sound Robin Thicke in his father Alan Thicke’s original role. Talk about blurred lines!
6. Comet Blasts Back Into the Fuller House
This is the real original Full House cast member return we’ve been all waiting for! While Fuller House replaced the long-dead family pet Comet with his great-grandson Cosmo, season four is finally going to see the return of the original Comet. Having not acted in any film or television project since his death, producers had a tough time convincing the canine actor to come back from the dead. After months of prodding, Comet’s agents agreed to let the dilapidated corpse of the dog appear for a twelve-episode arc. Give that dog a bone!
7. Jesse and the Rippers Get New Members and a New Sound
Remember Uncle Jesse’s rockin’ band Jesse and the Rippers? Well, they’re back, except this time they have a few new additions who are out of this world! After Jesse decides to get the band back together he learns that the band has moved on without him. Have mercy! Now the Rippers are joined by the Mos Eisley Cantina Band and their new single “4Ever” is a bonafide hit in every country but Japan! Will Jesse be able to come up with a single that rivals the hits coming from Figrin’ D’an and the Rippers?
8. The Tanner Family Gets a Prehistoric Addition
At the end of season three, Kimmy volunteered to be the surrogate for Stephanie and her brother Jimmy, and in season four the Tanners will be joined by a new addition. Whoa baby! In a special one-hour episode brought to you by sponsor Chuck E. Cheese’s, the newest Tanner will arrive. A TGIF crossover will occur when Kimmy gives birth to Baby Sinclair from Dinosaurs in a diseased Chuck E. Cheese’s ball pit. Talk about a Fuller House!
9. Jackson Freshens Up His Act
Thirsty for attention, Jackson starts acting out. When the Tide Pod Challenge comes to San Francisco, Jackson wants to be the first kid on his block to do it and impress a girl. In an absolutely unprecedented move, Jackson manages to swallow six Tide Pods and a Gain Fling before being rushed to the ER, where he’s treated by special guest star George Clooney. In the end, the family learns a valuable lesson, Jackson gets the girl, and only has to have half of his stomach removed!
10. DJ’s World Gets Smaller and Smaller
In a callback to the classic Full House episode “The House Meets the Mouse,” the Fuller family heads to Disneyland for a fun-filled day. Things take a turn for the worse when DJ realizes that there are three animatronics from the It’s a Small World ride in her backseat instead of her children. Rather than face the humiliation of being outed as a neglectful parent, the Fuller matriarch decides to raise the three ethnic robots as her own. Oh Mylanta!
If our exclusive first look is any indication, Fuller House season four will be full of laughs, love, and 100 percent realistic situations. There will be so many shocks, twists and turns you’ll be wondering, “What ever happened to predictability?”