It’s Vice President Mike Pence’s birthday! In addition to a decked-out Air Force II and the chance to stay as far away from the James Comey debacle as possible, Pence is no doubt going to receive some gifts at his birthday party. But he won’t be receiving these ten things, whether he wants some of them or not:
1. A keychain that says “Trumpcare is Exactly What Jesus Would Do”
2. A how-to book titled How to Raise Taxes on the Poor in Ten Easy Lessons
3. A free membership to the American Civil Liberties Union
4. Tickets to a reprise performance of Hamilton
5. A bumper sticker that says “I Used to Be an Irish Catholic Democrat but Don’t Know What Happened”
6. A t-shirt that says, “I really don’t want to be president – really!”
7. A twenty-five percent off coupon for stem cell therapy
8. A bottle of Trump-brand blonde hair tonic
9. A spinning bow tie with a plastic Democratic donkey button in the middle
10. A DVD of the science-fiction classic Planet Earth vs. The Tea Party