As the leading sources for the production of both current and future Buttholes of America, college fraternities should not be held to any sort of standard for normal human behavior. They operate outside the realm of basic human standards that plebs like you and I must adhere to. But for some reason, we insist as a society on believing that most men in frats really can be anything but uncontrollable gremlins. If that was the case, how else could they end up being our bosses or actually having a say in running the country?
So when video surfaced of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon chapter at the University of Oklahoma engaging in a horribly racist chant on a bus to a party where the men will (probably) treat their dates poorly and take one step closer to becoming the alcoholics they’re destined to be, most people have acted shocked, as if these men had it in them to be – or even really know – better. Again, these are future politicians and they must be groomed appropriately.
But maybe all of that is on the path to changing. In the aftermath of that video going viral, the school’s chapter has been disbanded and its members are now forced to go out in the world like the rest of us, which is really how it should have been in the first place, because an asshole on his own can’t do as much damage when he’s not immediately surrounded by a hundred other like-minded assholes (the same often goes for sororities, of course, but as men, fraternity members unfortunately have a naturally greater chance to inflict upon the world their douchebaggery). You know, that whole mob mentality thing.
The reality is that colleges don’t need Greek life at all, other than its use for making it that much easier to clearly recognize the biggest idiots on campus, though they would quickly be able to do that on their own. Fraternities attempt to pass themselves off as places for students to find friendship and brotherhood, where they can become better people. But like that suspicious laundromat down the street, it’s all a front for something else. Frats are incubators for the greatest jerks in the known universe, and while all students experience these people at school to some degree, there are very real, damaging consequences and repercussions to allowing this group mentality to survive.
Granted (begrudgingly), not every single fraternity member in the country is sentient poop. But as far as being human slime factories, fraternities operate with blistering efficiency. Greek life is a terrible and useless concept. And in the wake of this example at the University of Oklahoma, and other severely embarrassing instances like it and otherwise for other frats around the country, is it still wishful thinking to believe that the world is finally realizing that? Probably.
At the very least, the continued path to the Greek world’s eventual destruction, watching it all go down in flames, is certainly enjoyable.
