New interns mean a new chance at breaking some hearts. It means introducing a few more poor children to the unending club-to-the-head that is existence. I take it upon myself to be there and shelter them through it.
As one intern heads out, two more seem to take their place. They’re like Hydra in that way. They always waltz in eager and ready to learn. They ask inane, junior varsity-style questions, and I take it upon myself to squash their hopes and dreams as quickly as possible so they don’t get the wrong idea about the newsman go-around.
A few days ago, I had the pleasure of meeting one of said bright-eyed kids. I think her name was Amanda something? She was staring at the dead-eyed robot statue in the lobby; the one that is rumored to come to life in the middle of the night and eat interns that ask too many questions. So that’s exactly what I told her: “Some things are best left alone.”
If there’s one thing that decades in the business will teach you, it’s to play it safe and keep your head down. If you follow that advice, you too can be a lifelong journalist, just like your good buddy Rex. Who wouldn’t want this lifestyle?
That’s what these kids don’t understand. They want to break a story or uncover some kind of top-level corruption. I say, write box scores and obituaries. It pays the bills and you’ll have enough left over to be hungover any day you feel like. That’s the old Rex Way.
Don’t put yourself in the driver’s seat. Hell, don’t even navigate! Take a long nap in the backseat and maybe you’ll sleep long enough to wake up when you get there. It is a long drive and you need to conserve your energy. Maybe you’ll get lucky enough to have one of those bench seats in the car that you happen to be in so you can really stretch out – unless you’re tall. If you’re tall, then I don’t know how you get comfortable in a backseat.
