Author: Jordan De Padova and Dan Gutenberg
Jordan De Padova is a senior at Brown University and editor of Brown's satire paper, The Brown Noser and Dan Gutenberg is a junior at the University of Michigan and editor of Michigan's satire paper, The Every Three Weekly.
Glitter Let’s face facts. Tap water isn’t cool. If it’s going to taste like nothing, shouldn’t it at least look good? While the nation’s geeks are drinking plain old tap water, America’s jocks are drinking rainbow Powerade that changes color the faster you chug it. That’s why every water treatment plant should start mixing glitter into the water supply. . Dior “Sauvage” Without a signature scent, tap water has no way to differentiate itself from every other boring odorless liquid like wood glue or silicone. But with just a spritz of Dior “Sauvage,” we can get people reaching for tap…