15 Things My Dad Learned Instead of My Girlfriend’s Name

His co-worker’s birthday.
That the Detroit Tigers will struggle to compete for the AL Central again with such a small payroll.
The military alphabet.
That Kentucky Bluegrass is better for maintaining lawns in northern climates.
That he’s okay separating the art from the artist if that artist is Eric Clapton.
How to use 5% of his iPhone’s features.
The one about the priest, the rabbi, and the fry cook.
How to say roughly 15 words in Spanish (all cognates).
The chords to “Seven Nation Army” on his electric guitar.
The specs on that 1995 Ford GT he wants to get once he retires.
The incredibly tentative weather forecast for the week in June he and my mom are going to Paris.
Two card tricks.
A thing or two about a little something called Rock and Roll.
The name of every serviceman who died in Benghazi.
That he can go 20 years without cooking and cleaning and my mom will still stick around