“Nebraska, you’re going to hear, is quite a judicial-thinking place… There seem to be some pretty smart jurists in Nebraska and I can’t believe that a United States senator doesn’t know that.” – Bruce Castor, President Trump’s Attorney, February 9, 2021
During Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial, his lawyer brought awareness to Nebraska’s history of being a quite judicial-thinking place. For those of you unfamiliar with the Cornhusker State’s pretty smart jurists, let me familiarize you with Nebraska’s strong legal tradition.
The Wind v. Everybody, 5th Century BC
The gods ruling over the land that would one day be called Nebraska won a unanimous decision that set a precedent of unbearable wind for eons to come.
Chili v. Cinnamon Rolls, 1867
In the same year that Nebraska obtained statehood, chili and cinnamon rolls ended their legal dispute against each other by mandating that state residents must eat them together.
Transgressive Architects v. Local Puritans, 1932
Affectionally known as the “Penis of the Plains,” Nebraska eschewed whatever legal concerns local prudes had when it erected the region’s most phallic state capitol.
George Norris v. the Press, 1934
During the Great Depression, Senator George Norris convinced Nebraskans to ignore the pleas of newspaper editorialists and adopt a single-house legislature because it was cheaper, cooler, and weirder than the alternative.
Tom Osborne v. Howard Schnellenberger, 1984
After a come-from-behind trial, jurists ruled that real men go for two.
Used Cars v. Prehistoric Monuments, 1987
A collection of abandoned cars in Western Nebraska reached a settlement with Stonehenge that they would admit no wrongdoing as long as some of the cars in new installations were painted colors other than grey.
Donald Trump v. the United States, 2021
Amid a former president’s historic second impeachment trial, lawyer Bruce Castor sheds light on Nebraska’s impressive legal history.
