New Colgate Ads Promise Toothpaste Will Keep Breath Fresh ‘Til the Casket Drops’
Feb12

New Colgate Ads Promise Toothpaste Will Keep Breath Fresh ‘Til the Casket Drops’

NEW YORK CITY – In a surprising move towards more “hardcore advertising,” Colgate announced Thursday that its new toothpaste campaign would keep your breath fresh “’til the casket drops.” “Gone are the days of commercials where a woman simply brushes her teeth in a bizarre, all-white void, as if in purgatory. We feel it’s necessary to reach a younger audience with our messaging,”...

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Mom Likes That One Actor, You Know, That Funny Guy
Jun16

Mom Likes That One Actor, You Know, That Funny Guy

ZANESVILLE, Ohio – In a developing story, local mother Karen Ross, 47, has confounded her two children with vague and at times contradictory details about that one actor she likes. According to Dylan Ross, 22, his mother mentioned recently watching a movie she enjoyed but gave only sketchy plot details before attempting to recall the leading man. Sources indicate the man has been described as “goofy” and...

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