King Tut Still Got Laid More Than You
Oct24

King Tut Still Got Laid More Than You

As we are now finding out, King Tutankhamun sure didn’t have a lot going for him physically. According to a recent “virtual autopsy,” comprised of more than 2,000 computer scans, and a genetic analysis of Tut’s family, he had a whole mess of problems, including large, girlish hips, a club foot and buck teeth. And to make matters worse, instead of being the vaunted chariot racer that history has suggested, Tut...

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King Kandy’s Reign Begins With Delicious Crackdown on Dissenters
Jun06

King Kandy’s Reign Begins With Delicious Crackdown on Dissenters

PUDDINGTON CITY, Puddington – Candy Land, long the liberal bastion of the Candy Realm, has traditionally been a haven for refugees from its less democratic neighbors. Now, in the wake of a recent coup, Candy Land’s new monarch, King Kandy, has begun a brutal but delicious crackdown on dissenters, leading to thousands fleeing the kingdom. A leader of the exile community, Tom Taffy, says dozens of professors, activists and...

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