They Got Rid of Confederate Statues, So I Became a Confederate Soldier
Aug31

They Got Rid of Confederate Statues, So I Became a Confederate Soldier

First they came for my flag, and I said nothing. Then they came for my culture, and I said nothing. But when they came for my statues, I became a Confederate soldier. As a white person, this year has been really hard. Ever since Obama took away my rights, life has been a living hell. When the liberals started calling out the Confederate flags on my property, I was so hurt that I had to defend my Southern culture. Sure, I’ve lived in...

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Chris Christie Stole a Beach, So I Stole an Entire Grocery Aisle of Tampons
Jul28

Chris Christie Stole a Beach, So I Stole an Entire Grocery Aisle of Tampons

New Jersey governor Chris Christie’s blatant abuse of power may have ruined my holiday weekend, but I refused to let his actions ruin my holiday spirit. Sometimes the best revenge is beating the villain at his own game. With every Christie sitting-on-the-beach meme grew my need to avenge this nautical nightmare. That’s why I stole every tampon from the shelves of my local Stop & Shop, because that’ll show him. The sweet high of...

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