If In the Case I Don’t Make It
Aug07

If In the Case I Don’t Make It

A part of the “What’s Up With Stuff?” series. I’m going on location for the first time in about two decades. Last time I left the office, kids were playing with video games. Is that still a thing? The brilliant minds at Robot Butt’s corporate HQ have decided to send me off to be their eyes on the ground in all of the world’s most fucky locations. Ukraine. Gaza. Libya. You name a place where citizens have been...

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I'm Having the Time of My Life
Jul18

I'm Having the Time of My Life

It has been a thrilling couple of days. Suspiciously dire warnings aside, I’ve been having a blast researching the history of the Robot Butt logo. Though the fascinating thing is, the more I look into this, the more it seems like the Robot statue in the lobby is the real story. You’ll remember, last week I found a drawing on the leg of the statue, well, I stayed late at work one night, snuck into the lobby, and took a...

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The Merits of Taking the Backseat
Jun13

The Merits of Taking the Backseat

New interns mean a new chance at breaking some hearts. It means introducing a few more poor children to the unending club-to-the-head that is existence. I take it upon myself to be there and shelter them through it. As one intern heads out, two more seem to take their place. They’re like Hydra in that way. They always waltz in eager and ready to learn. They ask inane, junior varsity-style questions, and I take it upon myself to...

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Do Video Games Rot Your Teeth?
Jun10

Do Video Games Rot Your Teeth?

A part of the What’s Up With Stuff series. To the unintelligent and banal readers out there who don’t pick up on trends or trails of breadcrumbs: I have a confession to make – and no we won’t be delving into my past here; not this week. No, my confession is that my editors keep asking me where I get this stuff from, and they want more. When you’ve got the golden fingers like this old bastard does, you can’t...

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