Dozens Die From Heat Exhaustion After Concert at Local DIY Safe Space
Jul14

Dozens Die From Heat Exhaustion After Concert at Local DIY Safe Space

WASHINGTON – At least 24 people died last night at a local Do-It-Yourself concert venue, labeled a “safe space” by the proprietors, due to a combination of heat exhaustion and the ensuing panic caused by the fainting of those in attendance. “A few years ago we moved to the area and had always heard about the ‘house shows’ in DC, so we decided to open up a space for local bands to play in our house,” said Erin Lampley, tenant at...

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Obamas to Open House Venue in Washington, DC
Mar09

Obamas to Open House Venue in Washington, DC

WASHINGTON – After announcing that his family will be staying in DC for a few more years, President Obama said Tuesday that he and Mrs. Obama plan to open a new house venue in DC once their tenure in the White House is over. “The place we’re moving into doesn’t have close neighbors, and the basement is huge,” President Obama told reporters. “So I thought, ‘Why not throw some killer, all-ages house shows?’” The first family’s new home...

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