The Slate of Movies to Be Released in 2015 is a Terrible Nightmare
Jan02

The Slate of Movies to Be Released in 2015 is a Terrible Nightmare

Depending on what kind of movie fan you are, 2015 is either going to be the best year of your life or a big, fat reminder that opportunities for pure originality in filmmaking at a blockbuster level are slowly being crushed to death by sequels or reboots that aim to capitalize on the name of a famous property without really putting in any of the work. And we can’t forget about the continuations of long-standing franchises,...

Read More
CBS to Add “Gasp Track” to Dramas
Nov26

CBS to Add “Gasp Track” to Dramas

HOLLYWOOD – In a bold move, CBS announced today that it will be adding “gasp tracks” to all of its televised dramas following the holiday break. “Looking at the numbers for Two and a Half Men, Mike & Molly and The Big Bang Theory, it’s clear that Americans don’t have time to think about the shows they’re watching,” said Martin Shapiro, CBS programming director. “They want to be told when to laugh, and when to laugh really...

Read More
20 of the Most Egregious Absences of Pizza in Movie History
Aug27

20 of the Most Egregious Absences of Pizza in Movie History

Every single movie could stand to be improved from the inclusion of pizza. But there are some especially cringe-inducing absences of everyone’s favorite food in film history. And to think, some movies that originally contained pizza scenes GOT RID OF THEM. Today, we’re pointing out 20 of the most horrendous, impossible-to-ignore examples with the hope that one day, Hollywood will hear our collective voice and right these...

Read More
‘Batman v Superman’ to Feature Appearances By Every Character You’ve Ever Known
Jun23

‘Batman v Superman’ to Feature Appearances By Every Character You’ve Ever Known

Hollywood, CA – In a move to further cement what they hope will be a powerhouse tentpole franchise, Warner Bros. announced today that the upcoming Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice will feature a slate of fresh heroes, many new to the silver screen. “We at Warner think it’s time that great characters like Wonder Woman and Aquaman finally made the leap from newsstands to theaters,” said Jeffrey Rosenberg, head of...

Read More
Ancient Order of Writers Guild Conspires on Fall Lineup
Apr15

Ancient Order of Writers Guild Conspires on Fall Lineup

LOS ANGELES – Critics are anticipating a great year for television as TV writers gear up to start work on an upcoming fall lineup. In the upcoming days, a core group of television writers will meet under the huge vaulted ceiling of the beautiful Writers Guild headquarters. From there, they’ll decide everything from new programming, to which of your favorite characters will get killed off in the coming months. The Ceremony...

Read More