Federal Government Releases Strategic Kohl’s Cash Reserves
Nov27

Federal Government Releases Strategic Kohl’s Cash Reserves

WASHINGTON – In a move being decried by most economists, the Federal Reserve Bank released more than $2 trillion in strategic Kohl’s Cash reserves today to free up resources for those trying to get by this holiday season. Would-be business owner Jessica Massy doesn’t understand the backlash. “I was able to trade in the Kohl’s Cash I had saved over the years for the keys to an old liquor store down the...

Read More
Police Officer Gets Away With Murder on Cyber Monday Deals
Dec04

Police Officer Gets Away With Murder on Cyber Monday Deals

NEW YORK CITY – Late Monday night, Officer Dylan Costaneda couldn’t believe his eyes as he clicked on his Best Buy shopping cart – a Samsung 32” HDTV for only $199.99. “It’s the kind that plays your Netflix and Hulu too!” Officer Costaneda told sources. “Honestly, I feel kind of bad. Like I’m getting away with something.” Fresh off an uneventful shift, Costaneda expected most...

Read More
Coworker Continues to Tell Uncomfortable Cyber Monday Jokes
Dec01

Coworker Continues to Tell Uncomfortable Cyber Monday Jokes

DES MOINES, Iowa – In what has become a yearly tradition, Thomas Yeckley, an account manager at a local marketing agency, once again made a number of off-color and uncomfortable Cyber Monday jokes to his coworkers. Yeckley was found in the morning hovering around the entrance to the kitchen area where the coffee maker is located, telling his jokes to anyone within earshot. “Don’t bother me today Traci,” he was...

Read More