Federal Government Releases Strategic Kohl’s Cash Reserves
Nov27

Federal Government Releases Strategic Kohl’s Cash Reserves

WASHINGTON – In a move being decried by most economists, the Federal Reserve Bank released more than $2 trillion in strategic Kohl’s Cash reserves today to free up resources for those trying to get by this holiday season. Would-be business owner Jessica Massy doesn’t understand the backlash. “I was able to trade in the Kohl’s Cash I had saved over the years for the keys to an old liquor store down the...

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Police Officer Gets Away With Murder on Cyber Monday Deals
Dec04

Police Officer Gets Away With Murder on Cyber Monday Deals

NEW YORK CITY – Late Monday night, Officer Dylan Costaneda couldn’t believe his eyes as he clicked on his Best Buy shopping cart – a Samsung 32” HDTV for only $199.99. “It’s the kind that plays your Netflix and Hulu too!” Officer Costaneda told sources. “Honestly, I feel kind of bad. Like I’m getting away with something.” Fresh off an uneventful shift, Costaneda expected most...

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