Taking Back Their School: Texas Kindergarten Class Begins Using Pistol as Hall Pass
Feb19

Taking Back Their School: Texas Kindergarten Class Begins Using Pistol as Hall Pass

ARLINGTON, Texas – Samanatha Glasier, a kindergarten teacher out of East Texas Elementary School, has recently made the decision to switch her hall pass from a rectangular block to a Magnum Desert Eagle Pistol. “I just felt the kids needed something more than a wooden block,and allowing them to have a pistol in the halls should help give us some peace in mind that our children are safe when they’re at school,” said Glasier, a...

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Nation’s Good Guys With Guns Sit Another One Out
Feb15

Nation’s Good Guys With Guns Sit Another One Out

WASHINGTON – In a statement released this morning, America’s good guys with guns expressed sympathy for the Parkland, Florida victims, but reiterated their preference to “not get involved.” The statement read in part: “We’re sickened and dismayed at this violent act by a deranged individual. Our thoughts and prayers are with the bereaved families, and this event is a true tragedy, though we’d...

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NRA Announces Nation Just a Few Gun Purchases Away From Eradicating Violence
Nov06

NRA Announces Nation Just a Few Gun Purchases Away From Eradicating Violence

WASHINGTON – Confirming Congress’s long-held theories about the country, a startling new study released today by researchers at the National Rifle Association show that the U.S. is only “a few weapons purchases away” from eliminating gun violence nationwide. The 400-page study presents evidence that the nation would be a “veritable utopia” if not for the few remaining Americans, all mentioned by name, that “inexplicably...

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The Top 9 Avoidable National Tragedies, Had Every Civilian Been Carrying a Gun
Oct19

The Top 9 Avoidable National Tragedies, Had Every Civilian Been Carrying a Gun

1. Abraham Lincoln’s Assassination Theatergoer 1: John Wilkes Booth is making his way toward the president’s box with the intent to yell something in Latin! Theatergoer 2: Not on my watch.   2. Wall Street Crash of 1929 Stockbroker 1: My gun brings me such unbridled confidence, I believe I’ll invest another hundred thousand in the market. Stockbroker 2: Let’s all funnel more money into the already-stable...

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Easy Ways to Get Your Steps in Any Day of the Week!
Oct09

Easy Ways to Get Your Steps in Any Day of the Week!

While at work, walk to your coworker’s cubicle instead of emailing. That way the two of you can check to see if mental health is covered under your company’s insurance. Take the stairs. While taking the extra time, spread the word about gun violence anywhere you can, including Twitter, with the #Enough hashtag. Walk with your neighbor when she takes out her dog. Have an open and honest conversation about gun rights versus gun control....

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