100 Words or Less: On Groundhog Day
Feb02

100 Words or Less: On Groundhog Day

“Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow!” I read on my phone, a miniature super computer capable of presenting data from all over the world, and I am thankful we have this rodent to tell us what the weather will be. “What a time to be alive,” I write on Twitter, where I am connected to millions of people all over the globe simultaneously. “Truly we are blessed.”     More jokes, at no extra...

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Punxsutawney Phil Forecasts Nuclear Winter
Feb02

Punxsutawney Phil Forecasts Nuclear Winter

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. – Amid North Korea’s nuclear posturing, Iran’s unpredictability and ongoing U.S.-Russian tensions, Punxsutawney Phil – the world’s most lovable forecasting groundhog – foresaw this morning a nuclear winter that shall last until long after most of humanity has ceased to exist. The news brings plenty of disappointment to once-hopeful Americans, as Punxsutawney Phil is known for his...

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Punxsutawney Phil Just Using Weather.com
Feb02

Punxsutawney Phil Just Using Weather.com

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. – In a scandal causing turmoil in the world of meteorology, it has been revealed that legendary forecaster Punxsutawney Phil has not been making his own predictions on upcoming weather patterns, but simply using Weather.com and promoting the forecasts as his own. “It’s pretty unbelievable,” said Punxsutawney resident Claire Bloomington. “I just expect so much more from our rodent role...

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