God Announces Recall Notice for Men
Nov27

God Announces Recall Notice for Men

HEAVEN – Citing significant safety concerns, about 3.4 billion human males were recalled last week by Heaven’s Department of Product Safety. With numerous harassment incidents coming to light, God has mandated that the department begin an immediate recall before men can inflict more harm on human females and the few human males not affected by the recall. While the scale of this recall is unprecedented, according to the recall...

Read More
Spontaneous Erections Somehow Part of God’s Plan
Jun15

Spontaneous Erections Somehow Part of God’s Plan

PLANO, Texas – Local accountant and fervent Christian Terry Cooper told reporters Wednesday that, in a moment of divine inspiration, God had revealed His plan for him. Surprisingly, the plan consists primarily of Cooper experiencing a long series of unwarranted and impossible-to-conceal erections at unfortunate times. But despite the unique challenges the Lord had laid out for him, Cooper refuses to question how it all fits into...

Read More
God Admits Turkeys Never Had a Chance
Nov26

God Admits Turkeys Never Had a Chance

HEAVEN – Saying he feels “pretty torn up about the whole thing,” God admitted today that Thanksgiving “bums him out” each year due to his part in the holiday’s mass slaughtering of turkeys. “Look, I know it’s a festival of togetherness,” God said. “And of course there’s going to be a feast, but 46 million killed a year for one day – and that’s just in the United States – I…I can’t just wash my hands of...

Read More
The 11th Commandment
Apr21

The 11th Commandment

      More jokes, at no extra...

Read More
Humanity Proves Its Not Meant to Survive as ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2’ Makes $24 Million
Apr20

Humanity Proves Its Not Meant to Survive as ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2’ Makes $24 Million

“And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy.” – Revelation 13:1 I often go down a very deep rabbit hole of thought when I think about my place in the universe and humanity’s overall role in the grand scheme of things. I get lost in the exploration of why any of us are here...

Read More
Page 1 of 3123