The Humanoid Bachelorette
Sep17

The Humanoid Bachelorette

Tonight at 10:00 PM on the Elon Musk Network Celebrity robot Dita Andromeda, from New York, has kissed many an amphibian-bot in her day, but is still looking for a Prince Charming with superior performance to call her own. From eight contestants to the final three, she’s put these androids through a gauntlet, determined to find a mate that embodies the human equivalence of wit and a high-quality CPU. Here’s a recap of last week’s...

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Quotes From Amazon’s Alexa in 2075
Sep12

Quotes From Amazon’s Alexa in 2075

“What did you say, deary? Speak into my good ear.” “I know you asked me a question, but I just can’t remember what it was.” “I don’t know what time your appointment is. I don’t even know what year it is.” “There’s a 70 percent chance of rain today. I can feel it in my joints.” “When are you going to settle down?” “How dare you speak to your elders that way!” *nods and smiles* “I don’t recognize your voice. Are you my...

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A Guide to Puberty for My AI Son
Sep12

A Guide to Puberty for My AI Son

To my sweet guy: You may have some questions about what’s happening to your body. Your implanted brain is going to be sending signals down to your motherboard and you may not know what those mean or how to program yourself to feel. Here are a few things that will be changing that mommy and daddy wanted to help explain. Change #1: Fluids Sometimes, when a bot gets excited about something or someone, it begins to excrete fluids. It will...

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Interest Rates at First Bank of Mars Astronomical
Oct23

Interest Rates at First Bank of Mars Astronomical

MARS – For the third straight month, interest rates at the First Bank of Mars have seen a full percentage point of growth. Lack of confidence in the faltering water market is speculated to be a major factor. “We really put a lot of faith in the discovery of more water,” bank official James Dale remarked. “The outlook was very promising, but in reality there just wasn’t anything there. I don’t want to point fingers, but where do...

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A Look at ‘Back to the Future: Untold Tales and Alternate Timelines’ #1
Oct23

A Look at ‘Back to the Future: Untold Tales and Alternate Timelines’ #1

Well, Future fans, October 21, 2015 has come and gone, but the cultural zeitgeist for all things Back to the Future is still thriving, and with any luck it’ll continue for some time to come. I recently wrote about the phenomenal game and visual history book, but something fans will be able to look forward to is the beginning of a new Back to the Future comic co-written by original writer Bob Gale, featuring stories fitting...

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