High School Friend Presumed Republican
Mar01

High School Friend Presumed Republican

AKRON, Ohio – Citing numerous status updates and linked articles from the Drudge Report over the past five years, Ben Jeppers has come to the conclusion that Clint Howitz, his friend from high school, is now a Republican. “It all started when I noticed a post on his wall that mentioned some good things about John McCain,” Jeppers said. “This was back when we were all young and everyone was still on the Obama hype train, so I...

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Man Thankful He Didn’t Attend Friendsgiving
Nov26

Man Thankful He Didn’t Attend Friendsgiving

CLINTON, Iowa – Scoffing again at the foliage-themed Evite.com invitation, Nick Reineck found himself in the spirit of the season as he gave thanks for having the wisdom to not attend Alison Brendt’s annual Friendsgiving party. Rolling his eyes as he pictured the artisanal cranberry sauce and lovingly prepared tofurky, Reineck shoveled another handful of dry Froot Loops into his mouth. “I can picture those chumps...

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