Annual Stoning Yields Record Harvest
Sep21

Annual Stoning Yields Record Harvest

NORTH BENNINGTON, Vt. – Local farmers are celebrating countywide following a record-breaking harvest, brought on by this June’s Lottery and stoning ceremony. Early estimates project a yield rich enough to “last two winters, maybe more.” “Lotta corn, lotta wheat – whole lotta tomatoes. Yah, nothing’s even come close to this in thirty, forty years,” said resident Jacob Graves. “Figure we be keepin’ that Lottery, now, won’t...

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4 Cow-Milking Pictures That Definitely Feel NSFW
Feb10

4 Cow-Milking Pictures That Definitely Feel NSFW

Here’s a picture of a guy milking his cow, but this really doesn’t look right. If I were at a library computer right now, I’d be looking over my shoulder constantly, wondering how the adult content filters didn’t catch the obscenity of that frothy mix being stroked into the bucket.   Look, I know this is supposed to be a picture of someone milking a cow. But could you in good conscience show this image to...

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Tractor Does Not Think Country Girl is Sexy
Apr13

Tractor Does Not Think Country Girl is Sexy

HAYSVILLE, Kan. – It was reported this week that despite a young woman’s interest in an 8700 Series Row Crop Massey Ferguson tractor, the tractor in question did not return her affections. “My owner, Jason Larrick, told me she thought I was sexy, I guess, and I turn her on. But I’m just not interested,” the tractor said. “If I’m going to be honest about it, I find the whole idea sort of repulsive. I’m interested in female tractors,...

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