Original Name for a Kenner Star Wars Action Figure or Alt-Right Insult?
Oct23

Original Name for a Kenner Star Wars Action Figure or Alt-Right Insult?

1) Prune Face 2) Brownshirt 3) Snowflake 4) Walrus Man 5) RINO 6) Cosmopolitan 7) Amanaman 8) Squid Head 9) Cucservative 10) Dindu 11) Snaggletooth 12) Yak Face 13) Hammerhead 14) Kasich   KEY STAR WARS: 1, 4, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13 ALT-RIGHT: 2, 3, 5, 6, 9, 10, 14 (probably) More jokes, at no extra...

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8 Other Phone Calls Donald Trump Claims to Have Received
Aug04

8 Other Phone Calls Donald Trump Claims to Have Received

President Donald Trump recently claimed that he received telephone calls from the head of the Boy Scouts and the Mexican president, both praising him for a variety of things, but it was easily proven that the calls never happened. That little fib got us thinking – what other phone calls has Trump been lying about? Here are just a few of the president’s most recent phone calls he claims to have received: “The head of...

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Mike Pence Beats ‘Demonic’ Birthday Party Magician to Death With Bible
Jun10

Mike Pence Beats ‘Demonic’ Birthday Party Magician to Death With Bible

WASHINGTON – Mike Pence’s 58th birthday party ended in a gruesome scene this week as party magician Daniel Schamberg was beaten to death by the vice president for “consorting with the devil.” Vice Presidential Press Secretary Marc Lotter said the tragedy was an unfortunate mix-up.“When planning the event with Party 4U! we specifically requested wholesome entertainment and a sundae bar. While the sundae bar lived up to...

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Seeking to Attract New Members, Catholic Church Renames Lent ‘Whole40 Program’
Apr20

Seeking to Attract New Members, Catholic Church Renames Lent ‘Whole40 Program’

VATICAN CITY – Following their annual Lent postmortem, the Catholic Church’s marketing department has declared the religion’s annual time of sacrifice and fasting be renamed the “Whole40 Program” ahead of next year’s observance. “It’s hard enough to attract new members, but we never had to compete with trending topics before,” said Holy See Press Office Director Greg Burke. He cited concerns over Lent’s slipping...

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9 Acceptable School Science Fair Projects as Approved by the Trump Administration
Feb24

9 Acceptable School Science Fair Projects as Approved by the Trump Administration

McKinley Elementary’s Spring Science Fair is just around the corner! When preparing your projects, be aware that there have been changes in the annual event due to an executive order by President Trump. This year, the public will not be allowed access to the gymnasium to view the projects until the Betsy DeVos-approved judging staff has vetted all the little scientists’ results. In order to maximize your chances of not being...

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