Humanity Unknowingly Celebrates Final Earth Day
Apr22

Humanity Unknowingly Celebrates Final Earth Day

EARTH – Humanity celebrated the 46th annual Earth Day this year, wholly unaware that it would be the planet’s last. As revelers cheered on climate change legislation and rode their bikes to work, they remained blissfully unaware that Earth would not be celebrating a 47th Earth Day next year. “It’s simply a matter of probability,” alien lord Drexnum said from a spaceship hurtling toward Earth at...

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Asteroid to Give Earth a Good Scare
Dec14

Asteroid to Give Earth a Good Scare

DEEP SPACE – Realizing it has been quite some time since it pulled a fast one on an unsuspecting planet, an asteroid near Saturn has decided it would be good fun to sneak up on Earth when it isn’t looking. “I’m going to speed up to them like I’m going to slam straight into them,” the asteroid said. “They’ll freak out but really I’ll just zip right past them. It’ll be...

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Pizza Knievel Takes On the Entire Solar System
Aug19

Pizza Knievel Takes On the Entire Solar System

You’ve seen Pizza Knievel take Mondays to task. Now, he’s setting his sights on something…out of this world. That’s right, our cheesy, crusted and fearless daredevil is about to jump not just Earth, but the entire solar system. It’s about time someone finally put the rest of the smug-ass galaxy in its place. Related articles Pizza Knievel Destroys Monday Once and for All The Pizza Apps We Have...

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