DNA, Genealogy Research Confirm Ex-Boyfriend From Long Lineage Of Cheating Douchebags
Oct12

DNA, Genealogy Research Confirm Ex-Boyfriend From Long Lineage Of Cheating Douchebags

O’FALLON, Mo. – Citing evidence from DNA testing company 23andme, as well as her own findings on genealogy website Ancestry.com, Cassie Perkins said Wednesday she can now confidently confirm that her ex-boyfriend Matt Straywood descends from a long line of cheating douchebags. Perkins stated that people used to question Straywood about his ethnicity, often asking if he was part-douchebag, but he would shrug them off...

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An Open Letter to My Neighbors Upstairs
Jul16

An Open Letter to My Neighbors Upstairs

Hello. I’m the guy that lives below you. You know, in that tiny apartment building, the one with the stairs right next to our bedroom door? Right, those stairs you insist upon stomping up and down precisely between the hours of 5-6 AM and 11-midnight. Well I’ve got something I need to say to you: I hate everything about your existence. I hate that you spawned a child, who then grew to the age of three. I hate that he loses...

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