Movies We Would Have If Some Producers Were Literal Dogs Instead of Figurative Ones
Nov08

Movies We Would Have If Some Producers Were Literal Dogs Instead of Figurative Ones

The Bark Night Rises Local dogs gather to make sweet nighttime music. The Fat and the Fur-ious Can an overweight golden retriever and a greyhound find love? YES THEY CAN. Star Paws He’s just a tap-dancing cockapoo trying to make it in the big city. Yellow Christmas Seasonal classic with music by Bingo Crosby. Star Paws II: Attack of the Clones A tap-dancing cockapoo tries to survive becoming a father of ten. A Human’s Purpose Is...

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Pet Cam Owner Feeling More Like God Every Day
Dec14

Pet Cam Owner Feeling More Like God Every Day

PHOENIX – Hoping to take the canine-human relationship to a higher plane of codependence, an area man is employing the power of a brand-new Logitech pet cam to keep watch over his canine friend. “For I, Wyatt, am a jealous dog lover, and I shall tend to my furbaby as a shepherd would track his sheep with GPS,” said Wyatt Simmons, 43, of Scottsdale, as he sat at work and streamed footage of Thurman, his nine-month-old Bichon...

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8 Pictures of Dogs Whose Spirits Were Broken After Seeing Their Owners Have Sex
Nov13

8 Pictures of Dogs Whose Spirits Were Broken After Seeing Their Owners Have Sex

Fluffy has seen how withholding her owner can be as a sexual partner, and now knows better than to trust him. No matter how hard he tries to move past it, Scooter will be forever haunted by his refusal to get off the twin bed while his owners had intercourse on it.   “I know now that nothing will ever cleanse me.”   It’s especially hard for Sunny to enjoy his owner’s pets after watching her debase...

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Intergalactic Proton Travels 14 Billion Years, Hits Dog Turd
Jun03

Intergalactic Proton Travels 14 Billion Years, Hits Dog Turd

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah – Today, a particle of pure light and energy, born mere moments after the heavens themselves were created, completed an historic 14 billion-year trip through time and space by landing safely and squarely on a freshly laid, and still steaming, dog turd. Emmett, a four-year-old Jack Russell Terrier, had the honor of producing and distributing the poop for the once-in-a-lifetime cosmic event, and at press time...

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Dog Won’t Stop Making Eye Contact With Owner While Pooping
May20

Dog Won’t Stop Making Eye Contact With Owner While Pooping

MONTVILLE, Ore. – They say a dog is man’s best friend – at least, that’s how it’s supposed to be. But Dan Gertheim has been having trouble with that idea lately, as he can’t shake the feeling that his six-year-old pup Ruffles has been harboring some ulterior motives against him. For the past year, Ruffles has been making unrelenting and direct eye contact with Gertheim every time he defecates....

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