How Come Barney Never Killed Those Children?
Jun10

How Come Barney Never Killed Those Children?

A lot of the talk in the months leading up to Jurassic World centered on the fact that Chris Pratt’s character seems to have domesticated a pack of velociraptors. Many people were astonished that these vicious merchants of death were able to be trained to do one man’s bidding. It’s an amazing idea, and it definitely works for the velociraptors, but I just couldn’t see the same thing happening to, say, the...

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Paleontologist Names New Dinosaur Species After Ex
Jun10

Paleontologist Names New Dinosaur Species After Ex

GLEN CANYON, Ariz. – Dr. Britney Williams discovered a previously unknown species of dinosaur fossils while digging in the desert Wednesday morning, and named the new species Shortschlongasaurus in honor of her ex-husband. The animal lived in the Cretaceous Period and could grow to be over 15 meters in length, according to the recently divorced paleontologist. “You would think that since this dinosaur is so big, it would have...

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In Defense of ‘The Lost World’
Jun10

In Defense of ‘The Lost World’

Plenty of people have a dim view of sequels. Just take a brief look back at Avengers: Age of Ultron. Critics could overlook any merits of the individual film by simply stating that it doesn’t feel “as fresh” as the first one. And this is true; the first Avengers was something that had never been done before. It would be impossible (or at least incredibly difficult) for any sequel to top that. But just because it isn’t “new” doesn’t...

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Bedrock
Jun09

Bedrock

      More jokes, at no extra...

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Pterodactyl Bummed to Learn It’s Not a Dinosaur
Jun09

Pterodactyl Bummed to Learn It’s Not a Dinosaur

BAVARIA, Germany – Saying it came as quite a shock, a pterodactyl recently learned it’s not actually a dinosaur, a fact that has caused increased stress and depression for the creature. “I don’t really know what to say,” the pterodactyl said. “You live your whole life believing in something only to find out it’s a lie. So I’m a ‘pterosaur,’ huh? Whoopie. There goes 65 million years of brand recognition.” The pterodactyl said it...

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