Hillary Clinton Realizes During Acceptance Speech She Left Staffer’s Testicles in Vice
Jul30

Hillary Clinton Realizes During Acceptance Speech She Left Staffer’s Testicles in Vice

PHILADELPHIA – Pausing for more than ten seconds in the middle of her acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention, presidential nominee Hillary Clinton suddenly realized she had left an insubordinate staffer’s testicles locked in a vice before continuing with her remarks. “Oh fuck,” Clinton could be seen mouthing to herself, as reported by astute lip readers in the audience. “If someone...

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Wow! This Philly Cheesesteak Has a LOT to Say About Immigrants But is Shy on Camera
Jul29
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‘Don’t Worry, We’ll Still Fuck This Up’ Says DNC’s New Slogan
Jul26

‘Don’t Worry, We’ll Still Fuck This Up’ Says DNC’s New Slogan

PHILADELPHIA – Fresh on the heels of a hellish Republican National Convention in which delegates staged walk-outs, a speaker performed a Nazi salute, and the party’s secondary candidate refused to endorse the actual presidential candidate, the Democratic National Committee has put to rest the notion it has been lobbed a softball with its new “Don’t Worry, We’ll Still Fuck This Up” theme. “Get...

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69% of Adults Report They Are ‘Living Comfortably’ or ‘Doing Okay’
Jun17

69% of Adults Report They Are ‘Living Comfortably’ or ‘Doing Okay’

There’s no denying that this election cycle is downright bonkers. And with an economy that is growing at whatever is slower than a snail’s pace ever since the recession, The Wall Street Journal is using Americans’ dark overall view of the economy as just one potential reason for the rise of candidates like Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump. According to a recent survey by the Federal Reserve that details...

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Tanned, Bejeweled Bernie Sanders Changes Mind About 1%
Apr08

Tanned, Bejeweled Bernie Sanders Changes Mind About 1%

    More jokes, at no extra...

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